Posted on: January 26, 2010 by Diane
from Diane’s desk…
Encourage each other daily, as long as it is called Today. ~Hebrews 3.12
Encourage. Daily. That’s a tall order for so many of us.
It’s hard because when we encourage someone else, we actually have to think about someone other than yourself. Their interests, not yours. Their success, not yours. Their joys, talents, success. Not your own.
A few years ago, I was transferred to another position at my company. It was a position that I wouldn’t have actually chosen for myself. I felt way over my head, off my game. A couple of months into this “adventure”, a colleague came into my office, and sat down. Sensing my uncertainties, he said to me, ‘There is no one on the team that brings your expertise, your experience. Never doubt that you have something to offer, even if it sounds different than the ordinary.’
He didn’t have to do that. In fact, the way performance is rewarded at our company, if I blew it outta the park, it may very well affect his bottom line at bonus time. But that didn’t seem to matter to him. He had my interests at heart, not his own. My success, my confidence level. Not his own. What he said stayed with me for weeks, reminding me that ‘I was OK’ even when I felt a bit shaky.
That’s the great thing about encouragement. It doesn’t last a day. It’s like a seed. You sow it, and it comes back to nourish again - on another day, called Today.
Plant a seed of encouragement. Do it Today.
Posted on: January 19, 2010 by Diane
from Diane’s desk…
Here’s an update on the Iceberg Challenge - the January challenge, focusing on a specific gnarly behavior and/or belief to learn about yourself, about God, about others…
Read about this month’s challenge here.
My observations mid-month…
- The one sorta positive thing I can report so far…when I look for more in a person, I sometimes find it.
But the negative learnings certainly are more abundant (sad to say!)…
- It’s easy to not judge another person when you like the other person. When I don’t like someone, I move quickly to assumptions about the rot that is under the surface without ever really finding out. A very dishearterning observation.
- It’s easier to be more tolerant, more forgiving, less judgemental of someone when I am not jealous of their role, their looks, their status, their body, their…whatever. I am appalled at how much Envy (a capital E) I carry around. Just appalled. I can’t comment anymore than that…I’m still in recovery mode!
- It humbles me to know how shallow I can be…let me correct that…it humiliates me to know how shallow I am!
- It crushes me to know that others are doing the same thing to me as I am doing to them.
And that’s just after two weeks of focusing on this!! But I know it will get better - there is hope! And…I’ll report on that at the end of the month!
How about you? Anyone have the guts to take on this challenge? Anyone have the guts to share what they are learning?
Posted on: January 18, 2010 by Diane
CCVers - there’s still some room in the class, What Would the Neighbors Think?. It starts tomorrow night (Tuesday, January 19th) from 6:30-7:30 p.m. in Classroom #1 in the Kids’ Building. This is an opportunity to learn about the Bible from a totally different perspective!!
Description: A 4-week class to learn how to read the Bible with raging curiosity and fresh insight. Using popular Bible stories, the class will explore what the people of the time were thinking as they watched these stories unfold – from across the street, next door, in town.
Hope to see you there!!
Posted on: December 30, 2009 by Diane
from Diane’s desk…
Whatever you do or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. ~Wolfgang van Goethe
As we approach the final countdown to 2010, there are few who do not reflect on the past year and wonder…what if…if only…why…why not? At least that is true for me, or was. Until last year. December 2008. I decided to make a change. To forget about the usual resolution to lose weight. After 20 years of that, it gets a little stale!! But to resolve to be different. Not to ‘do’ different - but to ‘be’ different.
Earlier that year my sister - my friend - died. And with death, went years and years of her resolutions and dreams down the drain. Never to be achieved. Dreams kept at arms’ length by fear that masqueraded as lack of finances. Seeing harp seals in the wild; going to college; starting a craft business. Dreams that died with her. One day before the morphine took her clarity, we talked about missed opportunities, those ‘wish I woulda’ dreams. Still vocalizing hope to do it all, her eyes told the real state of her heart. They were sad and deep and dim - she knew it was too late.
In the weeks following her death, I made a promise to myself to cease letting fears stop me. At the top of that list was to face my fear of real poverty by going to Africa to see and work with the urban poor in Nairobi. What would it do to me? Could I handle it? Would I be strong enough to take on what God wanted me to do about it? So in February, off I went - to Africa. I walked in the abject poverty that I had feared. I smelled it. I heard it. I witnessed the incredible poverty of hope that can pierce the air without a ripple. It moved me in a way that I cannot describe.
That first night - after walking through the slums - I sat at the window of my room looking out into the strange streets of Nairobi. I cried for hours. That kind of weeping that comes from deep inside. Sobbing. Exhausting. Releasing. Grief. Accomplishment. Sadness. Overcome by her death. By the extreme poverty. By the sadness in those people’s eyes that looked so much like my sister’s in those last months. By the emptiness of loss. And somehow, after awhile, a release of extreme gratitude. For having known her. For being inspired by her confidence in me. For knowing that she was finally completely fulfilled and loved in God’s presence. For knowing that God had some stuff for me to finish - and that meant I needed to get started. And not just Africa. I was just beginning, and beginning is only half done!
Fear paralyzes. In the Bible, Matthew writes that after a storm scared the disciples, Jesus said to them, ‘You of little faith, why are you so afraid?’ Fear paralyzed the men who had actually seen Jesus heal with a touch, a word, a look. They SAW miracles. And still they feared. Fear fixates us on what is lacking, instead of what is abundant. God’s love and power and, thankfully, grace are abundant. Fear keeps us from the extreme pleasure of knowing the exciting, enthralling, inspiring goodness that God has in store for us.
And it begins with a resolution - at the start of a new year or anytime. A resolution to stop taking life for granted; to take hold of that fear that stops you from taking the first step. Don’t waste another New Year’s resolution on losing weight. My prayer is that you’ll join me - not in Africa, perhaps, but in the pursuit of what God has created you to do!!!
So, for me, here’s to a New Year, and a resolution to go ‘at it again’ - to trounce on those fears. To feel, again, the exhilaration of relying on God to get me through. 2009 was a year not soon to be forgotten. I resolve to do the same in 2010!!
Posted on: December 27, 2009 by Diane
Starting in January, and each month through 2010, I am challenging myself - and you - to address some perspectives, prejudices, misunderstandings, or just nasty habits that I’ve acquired over the year. The goal is to learn and observe, and, possibly, change my perspectives and my habits!
So, if you dare, here’s the January Challenge…
Most of an iceberg is under the water, below the surface. Most of an iceberg can’t be seen. There is no way to tell how deep or wide or jagged or damaged or solid it is just by looking at what’s on top of the water.
So, the Challenge for January…to see everyone as an Iceberg. Before I judge, dismiss, ignore, presume. Everyone I see - everyone I interact with - everyone I talk to, wave to, see from afar - everyone. Look at them as if they are an iceberg. Look at them with the absolute assurance that what I see is so little compared to what really makes up this person.
And then…be Curious. Take the time to stop thinking about myself and my well-intentioned or, more often, ill-conceived standards that I use to calculate the person’s near miss, or total miss. Instead, throw out the measureing stick. Toss the self-imposed standards. Take the time to be curious about who that person is. What lies below the surface. The hurts, the successes, the fears, the worries, the joy, the sadness. What lies under the surface that supports what you see. Maybe that curiousity will lead to conversation; maybe only to a prayer extended on that person’s behalf.
For instance…
Why not pray that the woman who is painstakingly counting out the change from the bottom of her purse to pay for her coffee will not feel my irritation, but feel the presence of God at some time that day.
Why not ask the man at work who is constantly backstabbing your efforts, ask how the holidays were for him, what Santa brought him, what he did with his time off.
Change your mind from judging on sight, to seeking what’s real. Being curious about what lies below the surface. To the part of the person that God knows so well, and that we rarely take the time to uncover.
See everyone as an iceberg - and be curious about what lies below the surface.
Seems easy enough, right? I’ll let you know on February 1st what I found out - about others and myself. I challenge you to do the same!!
Posted on: December 20, 2009 by Diane
from Diane’s desk…
In the Bible - in the book of Mark - there is a story about a woman pouring expensive perfume on the feet of Jesus. A similar story was told in several other places in the New Testament. Scholars are not sure if it’s the same woman or not, but it doesn’t matter. The fact that a woman gave up something of such value to honor the man she saw as her Savior, is consistent across all of the stories.
But in Mark, Jesus says a phrase that has stuck with me since I read it a couple of weeks ago.
She did what she could.
In the eyes of those around her, this gift seemed a waste of good perfume. Jesus knew differently.
I can envision this woman - a prostitute - meeting Jesus, feeling loved in a way that she had never been before. He saw into her heart, and loved her as a person. Frantically looking around her small room, all she had was a bottle of perfume given to her by a wealthy ‘customer’. She had valued it for a long time. In fact, she saw more value in that bottle of perfume than she saw in her sorry life. Others around her were having him over for dinner, giving him a place to stay. Wine to drink. All she had was this bottle of perfume. She knew what she had to do, and she didn’t care what others would say. She had to show him how much she loved him.
She did what she could.
I so often think that what I do for God, in comparison to others, is so insignificant. It never seems to be enough. I miss so many opportunities to show others the face of God. I fail more often than I care to admit.
Yet, I do what I can do. Each year, I pray I can do a little more, stretch a little deeper, with less fear. More confidence. More faith.
Each day, I have a choice to make. To stop doing because I’ll never measure up to others; because I’ll fail more often than I succeed. Or, I can decide, to ‘do what I can do’. To see what value I can give today, and give it. And then, work on more tomorrow.
I am confident, that God is OK with that.
Posted on: November 24, 2009 by Diane
from diane’s desk…
In a recent Huffington Post online article, Marcus Buckingham wrote about some research he is doing. He had a lot of really interesting things to say about women, and the decline in the general happiness of women over the last few decades. I’ll critique more of his series of articles in future posts, but one paragraph just jumped off the page at me…
When nationally representative polls of women and men are asked the question, “Which do you think will help you be most successful in life, building on your strengths or fixing your weaknesses?” men split right down the middle, whereas 73% of women report they would focus on fixing their weaknesses.
I would love to be able to scoff at that statistic. Deny its truth. But I can’t. And I bet most of you can’t either.
Why do women always think we need to be ‘fixed’? Why do we go to the ‘lack’ rather than the ‘abundance’?
John Maxwell, the leadership guru, often speaks of developing our strengths - the ones we know we have - instead of dwelling on getting that weakness fixed…into what? A mediocre strength? If it’s not a talent you have, why bother? Sort of like me thinking I can sing on stage. No amount of training or practice will ever qualify me to be the next Susan Boyle. Training might help me carry a tune - maybe - but it will never make me a star. I can’t fix the fact that I have a really sucky singing voice.
When I exercise my strengths, it is effortless. Leading, for me, is effortless. Public speaking, for me, is effortless. Writing is effortless. It brings me joy and comfort and energy when I am doing those things - they are my ‘zone’, as they say in the sports world. And when I work on developing these, they get even stronger. It’s how God wired me.
Just for this decade, or this century, can we concentrate on what God has created us to be - with the strengths he has given each of us, individually? And not worry so much about fixing the weaknesses that just sap our energy anyway? Frustrate us. Keep us out of the ‘zone’ where God can really use us.
So, join me. Concentrate on what’s NOT broken. Fix your focus, not your weaknesses. Focus on what keeps you in your zone. Just for this century.
Posted on: November 17, 2009 by Diane
from Diane’s desk…
I’m mooring my rowboat at the dock of the island called God.
This dock is made in the shape of a fish
and there are many boats moored
at many different docks.
“It’s okay,” I say to myself,
with blisters that broke and healed
and broke and healed –
saving themselves over and over.
And salt sticking to my face and arms like
a glue-skin pocked with grains of tapioca.
I empty myself from my wooden boat
and onto the flesh of The Island.
“On with it!” He says and thus
we squat on the rocks by the sea
and play — can it be true –
a game of poker.
He calls me.
I win because I hold a royal straight flush.
He wins because He holds five aces.
A wild card had been announced
but I had not heard it
being in such a state of awe
when He took out the cards and dealt.
As He plunks down His five aces
and I sit grinning with my royal flush,
He starts to laugh,
and the laughter rolling like a hoop out of His mouth
and into mine,
and such laughter that He doubles right over me
laughing a Rejoice-Chorus at our two triumphs.
Then I laugh, the fishy dock laughs
the sea laughs. The Island laughs.
The Absurd laughs.
Dearest dealer,
I with my royal straight flush,
love you so for your wild card,
that untamable, eternal, gut-driven ha-ha
and lucky love.
Anne Sexton, “The Rowing Endeth,” in The Complete Poems.
Posted on: November 9, 2009 by Diane
from Diane’s desk…
On my way home today, I was lamenting my body. As usual. Too big, too fat, too bumpy, too lumpy - you know the drill! And this thought popped into my head - what if I can never lose a pound? What if my bumpy thighs and thick, muffintop waistline, are mine forever. I own them. What if all of this is mine.
What if all of your body image challenges - your height, your ‘cankles’, your weight, your skin color, your nose, your eyelashes, your toes - will never change (and in most cases, they won’t!).
It will never change.
Think about that for a moment. It’s a sobering thought.
For any of you who avoid mirrors, or hide behind clothes too big for your body, or hate the exposure of summer clothes. For any of you who hide from life to hide your body. This post is for you! (For the rest of you, keep up the great self-image!! Awesome!!)
But this ‘What if…?’ epiphany changed something in me.
When I got home, I went into the bathroom and took a look at my body. I took off my clothes and stood in front of the mirror. For awhile. And I cried. I cried because it had been a really long time since I had done that. A really long time.
And I cried because I realized that God had given me every single inch of my large frame. Every bump and jiggle - God loves every inch. Every muffin top - God loves every one.
I know that a healthy body is a thinner one. I know that. (So all your health nuts, don’t panic!!) But to get there, I think I had to arrive here first. To love what is staring back at me in the mirror. To touch it all. And to love it all, just like God does. To know that no matter what - even when we gain weight, lose hair, get a zit - God loves it. All of it. All of it. All of it!!!!
What if…? What if you loved every inch of yourself the way God loves?
Love is patient, kind. Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. I Cor. 13
Does this describe how you love yourself? Is this how you think about yourself when you look in the mirror?
It’s what God is thinking when he looks at us. It’s how God loves.
What if…?
Posted on: October 25, 2009 by Diane
We rely too much on ourselves, and too little on God.
Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ~Matthew 6.25
Gosh, wouldn’t it be so cool if we could see the world, others, and ourselves as God does. Gosh, wouldn’t it be so cool if we could live life as if God was at our side, sometimes pulling, sometimes pushing us along. Encouraging us. Believing in us. Loving on us. Too bad we spend our lives thinking we are alone in the battle. Too bad that we spend so much time and energy hiding the authentic person that God needs to be fully activated. Too bad that we wear our Spanx so tight that even God can’t get in.
But all of that is a decision we are making. And decisions can be changed, altered, reversed.
Spanx are good to manage people’s perceptions about our body. They help with our body image, our self-esteem. They make clothes feel more comfortable. None of this happens when we Spanx our real uniqueness. We end up in constant state of withdrawal, uncertainty, fear of discovery.
We overthink our ideas.
We underthink our value.
We are in constant comparison of our insides with everyone else’s outsides.
We are in continuous denial of authenticity.
We rely too much on ourselves, and too little on God.
Sad part of all of this is that when you do this for years and years, it starts to feel normal. I don’t think God sees it that way.
His normal is a little different…no Spanx involved!
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