Posted on: January 15, 2010 by Terri
I’ve just started doing the On Demand workouts with Jillian Michaels. For those of you who know me, you know that tight abs, muscular arms and a trim physique have always been a struggle for me to achieve. During this morning’s workout, Jillian said something that made sense. She said, “You can’t phone it in, you have to do the work!” Her comment made me think about the areas in my life where I have done the work. The results do come.
I made the decision to follow Jesus some 10 years ago which for me meant committing to do the work - the work of developing my relationship with him, reading and learning the Bible, serving in my church, giving my money and sharing my faith with others. I could have just walked out of the baptism tub and returned to the day-to-day, but I wanted so badly to change who I was! I wanted self-esteem, I wanted to accept and see other people the way God did instead of judging them, I wanted to contribute to something significant, I wanted others to get the same new life I’d been given.
Whether it’s spiritual growth or exercise, the work isn’t easy; it takes time and priority adjustments. The person I was 10 years ago is pretty much gone. I think my family and friends would agree. The hard work has gotten me amazing results. The physical changes are coming a bit more slowly, but Jillian’s comment encouraged me to continue to do the work in both areas of my life.
Phoning in our desire to change isn’t an option. We need to do the work.
Tags: acceptance, clear, God, heart, jesus, Relationship, study, Women Filed Under: Bible, Connecting with God, Faith, Prayer, Relationships, Women
Posted on: November 17, 2009 by Diane
from Diane’s desk…
I’m mooring my rowboat at the dock of the island called God.
This dock is made in the shape of a fish
and there are many boats moored
at many different docks.
“It’s okay,” I say to myself,
with blisters that broke and healed
and broke and healed –
saving themselves over and over.
And salt sticking to my face and arms like
a glue-skin pocked with grains of tapioca.
I empty myself from my wooden boat
and onto the flesh of The Island.
“On with it!” He says and thus
we squat on the rocks by the sea
and play — can it be true –
a game of poker.
He calls me.
I win because I hold a royal straight flush.
He wins because He holds five aces.
A wild card had been announced
but I had not heard it
being in such a state of awe
when He took out the cards and dealt.
As He plunks down His five aces
and I sit grinning with my royal flush,
He starts to laugh,
and the laughter rolling like a hoop out of His mouth
and into mine,
and such laughter that He doubles right over me
laughing a Rejoice-Chorus at our two triumphs.
Then I laugh, the fishy dock laughs
the sea laughs. The Island laughs.
The Absurd laughs.
Dearest dealer,
I with my royal straight flush,
love you so for your wild card,
that untamable, eternal, gut-driven ha-ha
and lucky love.
Anne Sexton, “The Rowing Endeth,” in The Complete Poems.
Posted on: November 1, 2009 by Terri
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” - Matthew 11:28-20
This is one of my favorite passages from the Bible. Many years of my life were spent feeling weary and burdened that was until I began following Jesus and believing in what these words mean.
I told a couple of people last week that I was weary, tired and running on empty. As much as I love ministry, I sometimes find myself frustrated, disappointed, irritated and wondering why it has to be so hard.
Ministry’s hard because it’s all about people. We’re complicated, set in our ways, wounded, arrogant, doubtful, side-tracked and unmotivated. What I do becomes difficult because I’m one of those people who sees everything in black and white, right or wrong, which leaves me perplexed at times. I also happen to be a highly-driven perfectionist who will work non-stop to get it all done and get it done right! These traits, unfortunately, give me a narrow viewpoint when I’m under a great deal of stress.
How I’m “wired up” leads to being weary and burdened, but only when I keep Jesus at arm’s length. I end up experiencing weariness when I lose sight of the fact that God is using me to do his work, not mine! It’s so easy to forget that God’s in control, not me.
These times of unrest always pass thanks to the help of friends in ministry and out reminding me that Jesus is there every step of the way guiding, supporting and reaching to me. I just have to remember to reach back and find in him what I need.
Tags: Bible, friendship, God, jesus, Relationship, teaching, trust, Women Filed Under: Bible, Connecting with God, Faith, Growth
Posted on: October 15, 2009 by Terri
I’m sure most of us have taken the “Myers Briggs” somewhere along the way, in school, the workplace, at church - you know, the results give you four letters that describe your personality: E or I, N or S, F or T, J or P. There are 16 different personality types. I’m an ESFJ through and through - Extraverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging. Here’s how an ESFJ is described:
Warmhearted, conscientious, and cooperative. Want harmony in their environment, work with determination to establish it. Like to work with others to complete tasks accurately and on time. Loyal, follow through even in small matters. Notice what others need in their day-by-day lives and try to provide it. Want to be appreciated for who they are and for what they contribute.
Gifts refer to the spiritual gifts I received when I made Jesus the leader and forgiver of my life and was baptized. My top 3 spiritual gifts are evangelism, teaching and leadership.
My passion centers on people. What makes my heart beat fast is helping people meet and form a relationship with Jesus, coming alongside them as they learn about him and connecting them into the life of the church. I love doing these things, just love them!
These descriptions all look good on paper, but in reality it’s not always that peachy! The last couple of months have been extremely stressful for me at work. I know, I know, most would say, “how can working for the church be stressful?” It can be. While my personality is described as this warm and fuzzy, upbeat, team player who goes around all day making sure everybody’s needs are met, when things aren’t working out so harmoniously, my deadlines are impacted by others, and I get verbally roughed up by a co-worker, I’m like a volcano that grumbles and heats up and eventually erupts thousands of feet into the air. And what comes out is just as hot and dangerous as what comes out of a real volcano! What’s more difficult, is that I want to speak up, work it out, and explain myself, but most of the time I can’t do it. I can’t do it because, for years, I’ve been told I’m too emotional, unapproachable, too black & white, overly upset. If I’m quiet, others can’t say or think those things about me which is what an ESFJ wants - harmony!
My volcano erupted last night and it wasn’t good! Two people I love and trust said I need to figure out how to STOP letting stuff impact me so deeply and so personally. Yeah, I know that, but boy is it hard to put into practice. They also told me the only thing I can control and change is me. They’re right again.
So today’s a new day. I’m up doing what brings me comfort and hope - reading my Bible, talking to God and writing it down. Prayer, Jesus’ words, and time alone always bring the start of change and healing; the continued growth toward Christlikeness.
Tags: Bible, change, Faith, God, individuality, jesus, love, Relationship Filed Under: Bible, Connecting with God, Faith, Growth, Prayer, Relationships
Posted on: August 29, 2009 by Diane
from Diane’s desk…
I’ve never been good at a ‘quiet time’ - time spent with God, usually early in the morning - praying, or meditating, or journaling, or all of the above. Communing with God. Lots of books written about it. Sermons preached. Speakers talked about. I envy this practice but it has never worked for me, as much as I tried. But I haven’t given up. Perhaps someday…
I believe God created each of us as unique - unique looks, temperments, natural abilities. If that is true, why would it even begin to make sense that there would be only one formula for chatting with God.
The Bible says pray without ceasing (1 Thess 5.15). This appears to put no limits on how and when and why to pray. It doesn’t allow for a once-and-done check on a To Do list. Pray without ceasing seems to insinuate that it is never done!
Today, I traveled back from vacation, and found myself staring out the window totally at peace with the blessings that God has drenched me with. Good friends. Married to my best friend. Health. Kids. Job. I was overwhelmed by a loving God. Check.
A couple weeks ago, work-induced stress had gotten the best of me. One morning I spent a half hour in my car, just crying and asking God to help me calm down so I could get out of the car and go into my office. Check. I stopped crying, but was far from calm. I don’t know when it happened, but ten hours later I left work calm, cool and collected. I thanked God for being a stealth comforter. Check.
I pray on the way to meetings at work, or at the church. Check. I pray for closed lips that don’t allow gossip to escape. Check. I ask God to let me see the pain in others’ lives that they hide behind their selfish ambitions. I pray for the woman ahead of me in line at the grocery store who is paying for her groceries with food stamps. I pray for forgiveness when I curse at an illogical driver ahead of me. I pray when someone calls with a need. I pray for the right words to write on this blog. Check. Check. Check.
For some, this free-wheeling ongoing chatter with God sounds so undisciplined. I would argue the opposite. ’Praying without ceasing’ is a discipline that has challenged me more than I can say. I am sure I have not reached the ‘unceasing’ objective.
As it develops into a habit, God touches me in unexpected ways. I am living proof that God travels well.
Posted on: July 21, 2009 by Terri
Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” — Matthew 11:28-30
Rest, we all need it. If we don’t rest, we just don’t function right. We need mental, physical and spiritual rest. I spent many years of my life without the rest Jesus talked about. I used to say, “I just can’t get settled.” Everything bothered me, everything. I worried about money, I was never happy at work, I’d let an issue with another person nag at me, I obsessed about the number on the scale, and I envied what others had. These things left me in a constant state of restlessness. Then one day I came across Jesus’ words when I was reading my Bible.
These words meant a lot to me and I took them to heart. God rested on the 7th day, he told the nation of Israel he’d give them a place of rest, Jesus told the weary and burdened to come to him and he’d give them rest. I think this resting place is a place where there are life’s issues and struggles but there’s no unsettled feeling. Why? If we take the rest that Jesus gives there’s no worry, stress, heartache, or distraction that we can’t handle. We’re not deprived; we’re rested. We can function the way God wants us to function.
Think about it, when we’ve not rested like we should, we’re blurried-eyed, grouchy, sluggish and whiny. When we’re rested our eyes are wide open, we’ve got energy, we’re ambitious and we can take on anything. I love being rested, it’s so much better than being exhausted by all of life’s twists and turns.
My hope is that we women believe Jesus’ words and take the much need rest he so generously offers!
Posted on: June 15, 2009 by Terri
Before I made the decision to follow Jesus over 10 years ago, I never gave him or God a second thought. I knew what he’d done on the cross, but it had no meaning to me. Since becoming a Christian in June of 2000, I haven’t been able to get God’s story off my mind. I am fascinated with this story of God, the humans he created, all those who came after Adam and Eve, the Jews, Jesus and then the church. Because of my fascination, many who know and say they love me call me a Bible Thumper.
I’m not your traditional Bible Thumper. You know the type: lots of Bible verses memorized and used to answer all of life’s questions. Not that this type of person is bad, it’s just not me. My Bible thumping comes in the form of me wanting people to understand the story of God and human beings, why Jesus lived and died and what it means to be part of the church Jesus established.
The story didn’t end when those early church leaders decided what would make it into the Bible. The story is still being written today and we who follow Jesus are in that story, making history just as those people in the Bible did. I wonder if today’s Christians read the Bible like a story or if they read it as some strange, unreadable book that only trained professionals can understand and interpret. Jesus left a lot to be done. He told his followers to go out and make other followers, to be examples to the world, to love God and to love each other. Who do we think he was talking to? Was he only talking to those who were members of the early church? I think he was talking to them and all of us who will follow after.
As women, where do we see ourselves in this story? Do we even see ourselves in the story? Are we going through life so fast and furiously that we don’t take time to get to know God, to learn the whole story and to recognize where we are in the story? We need to be history makers. There are tons of stories of women throughout biblical history who do all sorts of things because of their great faith in God and their love for people.
Do we see ourselves as part of the big story of God and human beings? Are we going to turn the world upside down because we are willing to live and die for the man who lived and died for us? Will people remember us, write about us and talk about us and say, “so that’s what it means to be a follower of Jesus!”
I’d love to talk to other women who want to know more about the story and where they see themselves in the part of the story that’s happening now. Is anybody game?
Posted on: June 12, 2009 by Diane
Influence:
the act or power of producing an effect without apparent force or direct authority
Without apparent force or direct authority….so, let me get this straight. Without forcing it on someone and without authority to do it. It’s not my job or position of power. It’s not my ‘calling’ or ‘ministry’. It’s a choice I make to produce an effect.
As Christians, we are called to influence our world - our homes, jobs, communities, grocery stores, doctors’ offices, etc - for God. But so few of us do that. Why is that?
Maybe too many of us are looking for the spectacular effect. But influence is rarely spectacular. Jesus preached to the masses - which without a good sound system must have been spectacular. But the stories of his individual influence, I think, are more a model of influence for us. The woman at the well - Jesus told her that he knew all about her and her sins, and still loved her. The rich man - Jesus validated his efforts for spiritual purity, and loved him enough to tell him the truth. The sick, the lame, the blind - Jesus gave them individual reasons to live a new life. The bleeding woman, the leper - Jesus took the time to touch the untouchable. Just think what their lives were like after that!!
In Divine Nobodies, Jim Palmer tells a story of a cashier - Nancy. Jim stood in her line a long time. After watching the mean-spirited, rude treatment of the customers who went before him, when it was his turn he looked Nancy in the eyes and said ‘I’ve been there, and it’s going to be OK.’ A tear trickled from her eye as she thanked him.
He writes, ‘on my way to the car her tear was still in my mind. I wondered if it was a tear of gratitude or hurt. Like me, Nancy was looking for Jesus. Maybe she experienced him in our brief encounter. I did. Knowing myself all too well, I know I was capable of being just as uncaring as the other customers. It was Christ living in and through me that enabled me to reach out to Nancy.”
What have you done lately for the people you encounter each day to show them what Jesus would do if he was standing right in front of them? Are you OK with the incredible gift that God has given to you - rescuing you, loving you unconditionally, warts and all? But, like me, are you greedy and hoarding when it comes to giving it away as freely as you received it?
I don’t know. Maybe Jesus didn’t have it right. Maybe he should have just stayed on top of the big hill and preached to a few thousand at a time then walked away, never interacting with them personally. Sort of, a first century televangelist. Never looking in their eyes and saying - “It’s going to be OK.” After all, he was God. He could have done whatever he wanted.
He CHOSE to produce an effect - he chose to influence personally.
Posted on: December 30, 2008 by Terri
The January cover of O Magazine shows two pictures of Oprah - one trim and fit with her abs exposed; the other she’s in a purple workout suit. The quote under the image says, “How did I let this happen again?” Oprah on her battle with weight: a must-read for anyone who’s ever fallen off the wagon. I’ve been on and off that wagon with Oprah for most of my life. She’s probably one of the wealthiest women in the U.S. and has all the latest and greatest trainers, chefs, and equipment at her fingertips yet she still can’t seem to win the battle. It just goes to show you that all the ‘bests’ in the world aren’t the keys to staying fit and healthy. There’s something that keeps us, Oprah and those who share the struggle, from changing our mindset or habits or whatever it is that needs changing.
I wonder so many things when I think about my own battle with weight. What if I was raised differently - different food and more than your normal childhood exercise of swimming, bike riding and walking? What if I had played sports? What if my dad hadn’t been so worried about what I weighed when I was a kid? Why is it when I lose weight it’s always about how I look and not about my health? Did some of the creepy things that happened to me as a teen girl have an impact on my behavior around food and my body image? Let me tell you it’s a head trip for sure. There isn’t a day that goes by I don’t think about what I’m going to eat, how I look from head to toe and what size clothes I wear. I’m sure some of the same things swirl around in Oprah’s head everyday too.
Does being overweight mean you’re out of control? Does it mean there’s some underlying issue in your life where you use food to fix it? Or does it mean you enjoy eating and you don’t enjoy exercising as much? Face it; we’ve all got something in our life that’s a struggle. Sadly, if you’ve got the perfect body the world thinks you’ve got your act together.
At nearly 49, I’m still trying to shed my unwanted pounds and stay healthy through better eating and exercise. As much as I have those daily thoughts, they are minor. They don’t consume me like they have in the past. Honestly, I feel pretty good about how I look on the outside and I think it’s because I’ve worked so hard at how I look on the inside. The words from Psalm 139:23-24 are the words I’ve used to ask for God’s help:
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
I’ve asked God to help me understand all the stupid stuff I’ve felt and believed for years; to change those feelings and beliefs and to give me his perspective on how I should feel and what I should believe going forward. Trust me, it’s like a well-made garment - if it looks good and is put together well on the inside, it looks great and holds up better on the outside. Who knows, maybe if we all felt right on the inside, our opinions about what looks good on the outside would be drastically different.
Posted on: December 26, 2008 by Diane
Happy Holidays to all - and a happy new year 2009!
Below is a prayer that I posted earlier in the year, but want to re-post to refocus and think about the year that stretches before us. This prayer was written by a woman who walked and talked a closeness with God that I aspire to and have yet to even have in my distant horizon…
But for me, this new year, as every year before, holds promise and mystery and the hope that I’ll get closer to that walk. For now, I do rest comfortably in the security of knowing that God loves me and is still in control of all of it, even when I can’t, in my humble humanness, figure out what the heck he is doing, or why in the world he would choose to do it that way!
May your new year be blessed with a closeness to God that you have never experienced before, and the security of knowing you are loved by a great, big huge God who has it all under control (somehow!).
Saint Theresa ‘ s Prayer
May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.
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