Posted on: February 9, 2010 by Terri
Sometimes best laid plans just don’t work out and these plans need to change or die. When we sense a change, how do we know it’s God wanting the change and not us wanting to change because things aren’t going our way or we’re bored or frustrated? I struggle with this a lot. After all, Jesus turned the world upside down in 3 years. Wouldn’t anything he’s at the center of do the same thing? I know it sounds corny, but I truly want to be part of leading women in a radical movement for Jesus! That said, should I be regularly analyzying, re-thinking, and second guessing what I believe God wants me to do?
Since I don’t have any answers right now and the desire to lead something radical isn’t leaving my soul, what I need to do is pray these words from Psalm 139:23-24…
Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Posted on: January 15, 2010 by Terri
I’ve just started doing the On Demand workouts with Jillian Michaels. For those of you who know me, you know that tight abs, muscular arms and a trim physique have always been a struggle for me to achieve. During this morning’s workout, Jillian said something that made sense. She said, “You can’t phone it in, you have to do the work!” Her comment made me think about the areas in my life where I have done the work. The results do come.
I made the decision to follow Jesus some 10 years ago which for me meant committing to do the work - the work of developing my relationship with him, reading and learning the Bible, serving in my church, giving my money and sharing my faith with others. I could have just walked out of the baptism tub and returned to the day-to-day, but I wanted so badly to change who I was! I wanted self-esteem, I wanted to accept and see other people the way God did instead of judging them, I wanted to contribute to something significant, I wanted others to get the same new life I’d been given.
Whether it’s spiritual growth or exercise, the work isn’t easy; it takes time and priority adjustments. The person I was 10 years ago is pretty much gone. I think my family and friends would agree. The hard work has gotten me amazing results. The physical changes are coming a bit more slowly, but Jillian’s comment encouraged me to continue to do the work in both areas of my life.
Phoning in our desire to change isn’t an option. We need to do the work.
Tags: acceptance, clear, God, heart, jesus, Relationship, study, Women Filed Under: Bible, Connecting with God, Faith, Prayer, Relationships, Women
Posted on: December 30, 2009 by Diane
from Diane’s desk…
Whatever you do or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. ~Wolfgang van Goethe
As we approach the final countdown to 2010, there are few who do not reflect on the past year and wonder…what if…if only…why…why not? At least that is true for me, or was. Until last year. December 2008. I decided to make a change. To forget about the usual resolution to lose weight. After 20 years of that, it gets a little stale!! But to resolve to be different. Not to ‘do’ different - but to ‘be’ different.
Earlier that year my sister - my friend - died. And with death, went years and years of her resolutions and dreams down the drain. Never to be achieved. Dreams kept at arms’ length by fear that masqueraded as lack of finances. Seeing harp seals in the wild; going to college; starting a craft business. Dreams that died with her. One day before the morphine took her clarity, we talked about missed opportunities, those ‘wish I woulda’ dreams. Still vocalizing hope to do it all, her eyes told the real state of her heart. They were sad and deep and dim - she knew it was too late.
In the weeks following her death, I made a promise to myself to cease letting fears stop me. At the top of that list was to face my fear of real poverty by going to Africa to see and work with the urban poor in Nairobi. What would it do to me? Could I handle it? Would I be strong enough to take on what God wanted me to do about it? So in February, off I went - to Africa. I walked in the abject poverty that I had feared. I smelled it. I heard it. I witnessed the incredible poverty of hope that can pierce the air without a ripple. It moved me in a way that I cannot describe.
That first night - after walking through the slums - I sat at the window of my room looking out into the strange streets of Nairobi. I cried for hours. That kind of weeping that comes from deep inside. Sobbing. Exhausting. Releasing. Grief. Accomplishment. Sadness. Overcome by her death. By the extreme poverty. By the sadness in those people’s eyes that looked so much like my sister’s in those last months. By the emptiness of loss. And somehow, after awhile, a release of extreme gratitude. For having known her. For being inspired by her confidence in me. For knowing that she was finally completely fulfilled and loved in God’s presence. For knowing that God had some stuff for me to finish - and that meant I needed to get started. And not just Africa. I was just beginning, and beginning is only half done!
Fear paralyzes. In the Bible, Matthew writes that after a storm scared the disciples, Jesus said to them, ‘You of little faith, why are you so afraid?’ Fear paralyzed the men who had actually seen Jesus heal with a touch, a word, a look. They SAW miracles. And still they feared. Fear fixates us on what is lacking, instead of what is abundant. God’s love and power and, thankfully, grace are abundant. Fear keeps us from the extreme pleasure of knowing the exciting, enthralling, inspiring goodness that God has in store for us.
And it begins with a resolution - at the start of a new year or anytime. A resolution to stop taking life for granted; to take hold of that fear that stops you from taking the first step. Don’t waste another New Year’s resolution on losing weight. My prayer is that you’ll join me - not in Africa, perhaps, but in the pursuit of what God has created you to do!!!
So, for me, here’s to a New Year, and a resolution to go ‘at it again’ - to trounce on those fears. To feel, again, the exhilaration of relying on God to get me through. 2009 was a year not soon to be forgotten. I resolve to do the same in 2010!!
Posted on: December 20, 2009 by Diane
from Diane’s desk…
In the Bible - in the book of Mark - there is a story about a woman pouring expensive perfume on the feet of Jesus. A similar story was told in several other places in the New Testament. Scholars are not sure if it’s the same woman or not, but it doesn’t matter. The fact that a woman gave up something of such value to honor the man she saw as her Savior, is consistent across all of the stories.
But in Mark, Jesus says a phrase that has stuck with me since I read it a couple of weeks ago.
She did what she could.
In the eyes of those around her, this gift seemed a waste of good perfume. Jesus knew differently.
I can envision this woman - a prostitute - meeting Jesus, feeling loved in a way that she had never been before. He saw into her heart, and loved her as a person. Frantically looking around her small room, all she had was a bottle of perfume given to her by a wealthy ‘customer’. She had valued it for a long time. In fact, she saw more value in that bottle of perfume than she saw in her sorry life. Others around her were having him over for dinner, giving him a place to stay. Wine to drink. All she had was this bottle of perfume. She knew what she had to do, and she didn’t care what others would say. She had to show him how much she loved him.
She did what she could.
I so often think that what I do for God, in comparison to others, is so insignificant. It never seems to be enough. I miss so many opportunities to show others the face of God. I fail more often than I care to admit.
Yet, I do what I can do. Each year, I pray I can do a little more, stretch a little deeper, with less fear. More confidence. More faith.
Each day, I have a choice to make. To stop doing because I’ll never measure up to others; because I’ll fail more often than I succeed. Or, I can decide, to ‘do what I can do’. To see what value I can give today, and give it. And then, work on more tomorrow.
I am confident, that God is OK with that.
Posted on: November 1, 2009 by Terri
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” - Matthew 11:28-20
This is one of my favorite passages from the Bible. Many years of my life were spent feeling weary and burdened that was until I began following Jesus and believing in what these words mean.
I told a couple of people last week that I was weary, tired and running on empty. As much as I love ministry, I sometimes find myself frustrated, disappointed, irritated and wondering why it has to be so hard.
Ministry’s hard because it’s all about people. We’re complicated, set in our ways, wounded, arrogant, doubtful, side-tracked and unmotivated. What I do becomes difficult because I’m one of those people who sees everything in black and white, right or wrong, which leaves me perplexed at times. I also happen to be a highly-driven perfectionist who will work non-stop to get it all done and get it done right! These traits, unfortunately, give me a narrow viewpoint when I’m under a great deal of stress.
How I’m “wired up” leads to being weary and burdened, but only when I keep Jesus at arm’s length. I end up experiencing weariness when I lose sight of the fact that God is using me to do his work, not mine! It’s so easy to forget that God’s in control, not me.
These times of unrest always pass thanks to the help of friends in ministry and out reminding me that Jesus is there every step of the way guiding, supporting and reaching to me. I just have to remember to reach back and find in him what I need.
Tags: Bible, friendship, God, jesus, Relationship, teaching, trust, Women Filed Under: Bible, Connecting with God, Faith, Growth
Posted on: October 25, 2009 by Diane
We rely too much on ourselves, and too little on God.
Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ~Matthew 6.25
Gosh, wouldn’t it be so cool if we could see the world, others, and ourselves as God does. Gosh, wouldn’t it be so cool if we could live life as if God was at our side, sometimes pulling, sometimes pushing us along. Encouraging us. Believing in us. Loving on us. Too bad we spend our lives thinking we are alone in the battle. Too bad that we spend so much time and energy hiding the authentic person that God needs to be fully activated. Too bad that we wear our Spanx so tight that even God can’t get in.
But all of that is a decision we are making. And decisions can be changed, altered, reversed.
Spanx are good to manage people’s perceptions about our body. They help with our body image, our self-esteem. They make clothes feel more comfortable. None of this happens when we Spanx our real uniqueness. We end up in constant state of withdrawal, uncertainty, fear of discovery.
We overthink our ideas.
We underthink our value.
We are in constant comparison of our insides with everyone else’s outsides.
We are in continuous denial of authenticity.
We rely too much on ourselves, and too little on God.
Sad part of all of this is that when you do this for years and years, it starts to feel normal. I don’t think God sees it that way.
His normal is a little different…no Spanx involved!
Posted on: October 24, 2009 by Diane
Ah, the bumps and wiggles that a Spanx hides. I don’t deny I need the stupid little invention. But too often, I deny the existence of the real me. I deny that there is someone else - the real me - lurking under the tight reins I have wrapped around myself.
We are in continuous denial of authenticity. Deep down we know who we are. Deep down we know exactly the kind of person that we want to be. But we expend a great deal of energy in denying that the authentic ‘me’ is what God really wants us to expose to the world. Better that I masquerade, than I unmask!! Better that I expend my energies hiding.
But what might happen if you take a step beyond the protective covering? What’s the worse thing that could happen? Really.
Brennan Manning wrote ‘there is a beautiful transparency to honest disciples who never wear a false face and do not pretend to be anything but who they are.’
Next Spanx: We rely too much on ourselves, and too little on God.
Posted on: October 23, 2009 by Diane
We are in constant comparison of our insides with everyone else’s outsides.
Ah, the black ooze of the real me.
And ah, the seeming perfection of everyone else - they look and smell and talk and act and think perfectly. Or do they…???
The face that we, and everyone else, show to the world is as close to perfect as we can possibly get it. It’s only when we honestly look inside ourselves that we see the blackness. Then we look around our world at the bright, shiny faces of the inauthentic. And we come up short. We tighten up the Spanx a bit. We, too, need to present the inauthentic perfection so that everyone has something to compare themselves to, so they can come up short.
And around and around it goes.
But the vicious circle can be stopped. We each have to remember that everyone has their own story. Everyone has their own black ooze to deal with. And reacting to others by tightening up our hold on our uniqueness defeats God’s purposes. People excel in so many ways when they are in authentic community with each other. When everyone ungirds and releases. But inauthentic people will sit it out, rest on the bench on the sidelines. Never engaging.
Before Jesus left earth to go to heaven, he walked on the beach with Peter. A ways behind, walked John. Jesus had just forgiven Peter for denying that he knew him when Jesus really needed him. Instead of feeling the full weight of the burden that had just been lifted, Peter chose to compare. As Peter glanced back at John…
When Peter saw him, he asked, Lord, what about him? Jesus answered, If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me. ~John 21.20-22
No matter what seeming perfection you see when you look at others - when you glance back, I ask you…what is that to you?
Next Spanx: We are in continuous denial of authenticity.
Posted on: October 22, 2009 by Diane
When you wear a Spanx, you tighten up all of the wiggles and bumps of a normal body. You keep it all buttoned up in a tight corset of protection. Deceiving yourself and others about your true body. Love Spanx!
But too often we use the same philosophy to hide - to Spanx - our God-given uniqueness. Here’s one way we do that…
We underthink our value. For me, this plaques me most when I am surrounded by people who appear more creative, quicker with their comments, sharper with their communication. It’s a comparison game I too often lose.
God knew us before we were even born. He knows how many hairs we have on our head. He knows what we think, what we love, what we worry about. And he knows what talents, gifts and abilities he gave us. He knows what we are capable of doing and being. He did not create us to hide ourselves in a corner, or under a layer of girdled rayon. He created us to add value to the world.
Craig Groeschel says, “You are not who people say you are. You are who God says you are.”
So, we should strive first to see ourselves as God sees us - to see and realize and internalize the value he sees in us. Take off the Spanx and let it out. Show the world what God created you to be.
Only let me live up to what I have already attained for which God called me. ~Phil. 3.16
Next Spanx: We are in constant comparison of our insides to everyone else’s outsides!
Posted on: October 18, 2009 by Diane
Do not take counsel of your fears. ~ Winston Churchill
I can imagine that the fears that Churchill referred to in World War II were more like actual bombs and bullets; of the oppression of a dictator like Hitler trying to take over the world. I hope I never have to deal with that kind of fear in my lifetime; but I do have fears. Perhaps not having the same deadly potential, but fears that paralyze and symbolically keep me cowering in the corner, with the allusion of safety, blanket over my head.
Whether cowering in a corner, or dodging bullets in the streets of risk-taking, it’s all a decision. To sit still. To move forward. To stay comfy. Or to get uncomfortable.
Decisions. A solo experience, or group-think. Quick, or drawn out. Churchill’s advice had less to do with how or when a decision is made, and more to do with how much importance you place on one particular piece of advice - that of your fears. The nagging little voice in your head that tells you that you can’t do something; that something will go wrong; that no one would understand; that people might laugh. You know the voices. Tailor them to your own personal ones that dance through your mind whenever you think about taking a risk, trying something new.
Plans fail for lack of counsel; but with many advisors they succeed. ~Proverbs 15.22
Lately I have been confronting a big fear of mine. It’s a decision that has to be made, and it is long overdue, by several years. The problem is that I have been listening to my fears for so long that I have dug myself into this rut of indecision. And it’s further exasperated by the fact that I am really confident it’s the direction God wants me to go. So what does paralyzed indecision say about my faith in a God who puts dreams into hearts in order to come along with us for the ride that he has designed for us?
Time to look again. To consider counsel beyond my fears. Take the cover off my head, move out of the corner, and into life beyond the fear.
How about you? What fears are holding you back from taking action? Why not step out and see what happens? Scary. Exhilarating.
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