Posted on: February 9, 2010 by Terri
Sometimes best laid plans just don’t work out and these plans need to change or die. When we sense a change, how do we know it’s God wanting the change and not us wanting to change because things aren’t going our way or we’re bored or frustrated? I struggle with this a lot. After all, Jesus turned the world upside down in 3 years. Wouldn’t anything he’s at the center of do the same thing? I know it sounds corny, but I truly want to be part of leading women in a radical movement for Jesus! That said, should I be regularly analyzying, re-thinking, and second guessing what I believe God wants me to do?
Since I don’t have any answers right now and the desire to lead something radical isn’t leaving my soul, what I need to do is pray these words from Psalm 139:23-24…
Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Posted on: January 15, 2010 by Terri
I’ve just started doing the On Demand workouts with Jillian Michaels. For those of you who know me, you know that tight abs, muscular arms and a trim physique have always been a struggle for me to achieve. During this morning’s workout, Jillian said something that made sense. She said, “You can’t phone it in, you have to do the work!” Her comment made me think about the areas in my life where I have done the work. The results do come.
I made the decision to follow Jesus some 10 years ago which for me meant committing to do the work - the work of developing my relationship with him, reading and learning the Bible, serving in my church, giving my money and sharing my faith with others. I could have just walked out of the baptism tub and returned to the day-to-day, but I wanted so badly to change who I was! I wanted self-esteem, I wanted to accept and see other people the way God did instead of judging them, I wanted to contribute to something significant, I wanted others to get the same new life I’d been given.
Whether it’s spiritual growth or exercise, the work isn’t easy; it takes time and priority adjustments. The person I was 10 years ago is pretty much gone. I think my family and friends would agree. The hard work has gotten me amazing results. The physical changes are coming a bit more slowly, but Jillian’s comment encouraged me to continue to do the work in both areas of my life.
Phoning in our desire to change isn’t an option. We need to do the work.
Tags: acceptance, clear, God, heart, jesus, Relationship, study, Women Filed Under: Bible, Connecting with God, Faith, Prayer, Relationships, Women
Posted on: December 27, 2009 by Diane
Starting in January, and each month through 2010, I am challenging myself - and you - to address some perspectives, prejudices, misunderstandings, or just nasty habits that I’ve acquired over the year. The goal is to learn and observe, and, possibly, change my perspectives and my habits!
So, if you dare, here’s the January Challenge…
Most of an iceberg is under the water, below the surface. Most of an iceberg can’t be seen. There is no way to tell how deep or wide or jagged or damaged or solid it is just by looking at what’s on top of the water.
So, the Challenge for January…to see everyone as an Iceberg. Before I judge, dismiss, ignore, presume. Everyone I see - everyone I interact with - everyone I talk to, wave to, see from afar - everyone. Look at them as if they are an iceberg. Look at them with the absolute assurance that what I see is so little compared to what really makes up this person.
And then…be Curious. Take the time to stop thinking about myself and my well-intentioned or, more often, ill-conceived standards that I use to calculate the person’s near miss, or total miss. Instead, throw out the measureing stick. Toss the self-imposed standards. Take the time to be curious about who that person is. What lies below the surface. The hurts, the successes, the fears, the worries, the joy, the sadness. What lies under the surface that supports what you see. Maybe that curiousity will lead to conversation; maybe only to a prayer extended on that person’s behalf.
For instance…
Why not pray that the woman who is painstakingly counting out the change from the bottom of her purse to pay for her coffee will not feel my irritation, but feel the presence of God at some time that day.
Why not ask the man at work who is constantly backstabbing your efforts, ask how the holidays were for him, what Santa brought him, what he did with his time off.
Change your mind from judging on sight, to seeking what’s real. Being curious about what lies below the surface. To the part of the person that God knows so well, and that we rarely take the time to uncover.
See everyone as an iceberg - and be curious about what lies below the surface.
Seems easy enough, right? I’ll let you know on February 1st what I found out - about others and myself. I challenge you to do the same!!
Posted on: December 9, 2009 by Terri
Isn’t that the title of a rock and roll song? As our CLEAR leadership team continues to think and pray and talk about all the things we want for women, these words keep coming to my my mind - girls, girls, girls. There are little girls, young girls, girls becoming women and women, like me, who like being referred to as a girl! For our team, age isn’t an issue; we want to come alongside all women and help them navigate through the waters of the Christian faith! We keep coming back to what we want most for all girls, young and old, - their own personal relationship with Jesus that transforms their lives.
2010 is almost here and we’ve planned a year full of opportunities for women to be challenged, to be inspired, to bring their friends, to meet other women, to serve other women and to pursue spiritual growth. We want all of you to come along as we continue the journey of becoming amazing women of God!
Watch this blog, talk to me (Terri Stone), Diane Karchner, Becky Preston, Renae Stone or Jennifer Thompson. We’re the CLEAR leadership team and we’re here to help you connect with God and each other and to help you grow in your faith. What are you waiting for? Jump in and be part of what God’s going to do in the lives of so many women!
Tags: Christianity, clear, Faith, friendship, God, individuality, jesus, Relationship, Women Filed Under: Christianity, Community, Influence, Leadership, Relationships, Women
Posted on: October 15, 2009 by Terri
I’m sure most of us have taken the “Myers Briggs” somewhere along the way, in school, the workplace, at church - you know, the results give you four letters that describe your personality: E or I, N or S, F or T, J or P. There are 16 different personality types. I’m an ESFJ through and through - Extraverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging. Here’s how an ESFJ is described:
Warmhearted, conscientious, and cooperative. Want harmony in their environment, work with determination to establish it. Like to work with others to complete tasks accurately and on time. Loyal, follow through even in small matters. Notice what others need in their day-by-day lives and try to provide it. Want to be appreciated for who they are and for what they contribute.
Gifts refer to the spiritual gifts I received when I made Jesus the leader and forgiver of my life and was baptized. My top 3 spiritual gifts are evangelism, teaching and leadership.
My passion centers on people. What makes my heart beat fast is helping people meet and form a relationship with Jesus, coming alongside them as they learn about him and connecting them into the life of the church. I love doing these things, just love them!
These descriptions all look good on paper, but in reality it’s not always that peachy! The last couple of months have been extremely stressful for me at work. I know, I know, most would say, “how can working for the church be stressful?” It can be. While my personality is described as this warm and fuzzy, upbeat, team player who goes around all day making sure everybody’s needs are met, when things aren’t working out so harmoniously, my deadlines are impacted by others, and I get verbally roughed up by a co-worker, I’m like a volcano that grumbles and heats up and eventually erupts thousands of feet into the air. And what comes out is just as hot and dangerous as what comes out of a real volcano! What’s more difficult, is that I want to speak up, work it out, and explain myself, but most of the time I can’t do it. I can’t do it because, for years, I’ve been told I’m too emotional, unapproachable, too black & white, overly upset. If I’m quiet, others can’t say or think those things about me which is what an ESFJ wants - harmony!
My volcano erupted last night and it wasn’t good! Two people I love and trust said I need to figure out how to STOP letting stuff impact me so deeply and so personally. Yeah, I know that, but boy is it hard to put into practice. They also told me the only thing I can control and change is me. They’re right again.
So today’s a new day. I’m up doing what brings me comfort and hope - reading my Bible, talking to God and writing it down. Prayer, Jesus’ words, and time alone always bring the start of change and healing; the continued growth toward Christlikeness.
Tags: Bible, change, Faith, God, individuality, jesus, love, Relationship Filed Under: Bible, Connecting with God, Faith, Growth, Prayer, Relationships
Posted on: October 11, 2009 by Diane
In my Home Team, we are studying the New Testament book of Luke. It’s been a great refresher for me of a book that I have seldom read, for whatever reason. For me, I think of Luke as the origin of the real Christmas story - you know the one that is told every year on the TV show, Charlie Brown’s Christmas. I am finding there is much more to Luke than a sweet cartoon character’s words.
Luke writes from an interesting perspective - never met Jesus, reiterates parts of the other Gospels, has a physician’s clinical perspective (ie, here’s the problem, here’s what to do about it), and always gives a bit of historical perspective so you can tell when the events happened.
Last week we got into a discussion about judging others.
Why do you look at the speck in your friend’s eye, and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ~Luke 6.41
The whole discussion had a bit of rawness to it. It started with some joking around about how we judge others, making light of some of our unspoken thoughts, as well as some of our text messages to friends about our thoughts about others. But after the joking subsided, there was a heavy moment of reflection. It was a hard topic. A really hard, raw topic. We were uncovering some of that black ooze that lives inside our souls - sin that we enjoy. We did not reach any resolution, other than getting it ‘out there’.
I guess the question that remains for me…do I really accept the fact that I have a plank in my own eye? I don’t think I do. Or, perhaps more realistically, do I think I can just push it aside and that gives me the right to judge someone else’s actions, looks, clothes, voice…whatever? Feeling just a little bit better than them, and just a bit better about myself in comparison. That is not what Luke says…
You hypocrite, FIRST, take the plank out of your own eye, then you can see clearly to remove the speck from another’s eye. ~Luke 6.42
(Side note - isn’t it interesting that Luke compares our sin as the size of a plank, and someone else’s as a speck!? Wassup with that!? See Philippians 2.3 for some insight!)
I think going through the pain of dealing with the plank, actually provides me the perspective - the compassionate view - to help me see what the other person is going through BEFORE I open up my heap of judgment. And, perhaps, that’s all these verses are about - cut each other a break; pause and consider your hangups and your flaws FIRST…then lend a hand to someone else to help them deal with theirs!!
Posted on: September 27, 2009 by Diane
from Diane’s desk…
Wow! Crazy few months for those in the world of celebrity (or politics, which many think are one and the same!). Let me summarize…
- Serena screams and walks off the court.
- Joe Wilson, an elected representative, yells at the President of the United States.
- Kanye West steals the moment from a deserving award winner.
- Mark Sanford cheats on his wife and then asks all Christians to forgive him.
Call all of it what it truly is. Rude. Incivil. Wrong. Sad.
I’d love to say my sensibilities wandered to praying for them, thinking about how to help them figure it out, forgive themselves, heal those they hurt. You know, pray ‘em up’. Nope. Didn’t do it. (Well, I did have un-prayer-like thoughts for Mrs. Sanford, but certainly not with intent of her showing her husband any kindness, for sure!!)
I judged. Almost immediately. I ripped out my self-righteous yardstick (I carry it with me everywhere!) and found them all seriously wanting compared to me. And, even though I can readily admit that I am far from perfect, for a wonderful few moments, I was better than someone else!! Whoa! I put some good icing on that delicious cake!!
I need to get over myself!! I don’t know about you, but for me, I need to learn to do what Jesus said. First, he made it very clear that comparing ourselves to what happens to others, to what road someone else is on, is not what God wants (John 21.20-23) for us.
Second, he made it clear to make sure that the plank (that would be a giant, honking two-by-four!) was outta my eye, so I could help (graciously, lovingly, humbly) someone else get the speck of sawdust (small, tiny, miniscule) outta theirs. (Luke 6.41)
He wants us to encourage each other, so we don’t stumble; and when (not, if…) we do trip, or even fall, not to turn away, ignore, oust ‘em, or laugh, gossip or…sigh, judge each other. He wants us to treat others the way we would like to be treated.
Famous or not…front page story or neighborhood barbecue…help each other up!
Posted on: September 20, 2009 by Diane
from Diane’s desk…
She had problems with her tone of voice, and her nasty disposition.
He was condescending and demeaning, and his team despised him.
It was obvious that she preferred working with men rather than women.
She was never satisfied with what anyone did, nothing was good enough.
All are descriptions of four managers I worked with during the first ten years in the world of business (several decades ago). I describe them with the harsh tones of someone too young to think past herself or to consider, in a mature light, what baggage others may have to bear.
When you are young, the business world needs your energy and creativity. It’s necessary to keep businesses growing and competing in the markets of today. You think you’ve got it all together. Unfortunately, that energy and creativity often lacks the perspective that comes with life experience.
To me, at the time, these people were just weak. I compared my strengths to their weaknesses, and they fell way short. Without life experiences, I had no idea how really weak my weaknesses could be. I had nothing to compare anything to, except to hold them up against my overblown lack of self-awareness.
Time gives perspective. Without stabs at the psychoanalysis of any of this, let me rephrase those descriptions with time as my perspective…
She had problems with her tone of voice, and her nasty disposition. After years in a physically and emotionally abusive marriage, she divorced him and has lived single ever since.
He was condescending and demeaning, and his team despised him. This was his third job in four years. He was fired from two jobs and laid off from one. He needed his team to perform well, immediately, and was willing to be hated to do it. He had four kids and a wife who spent her life in a wheelchair. He was fired again. He committed suicide.
It was obvious that she preferred working with men rather than women. Her father had abandoned her when she was nine; her mother lived with a different man every couple of years for as long as she could remember. She has been married four times.
She was never satisfied with what anyone did. Nothing was good enough. She was an ‘Army brat’ who moved alot. Home-schooled until her mom died when she was 15, she started attending public high school in 10th grade. She was the brunt of incredible teasing due to her lack of social skills. (Please - not a slam on home-schooling, just describing this woman’s experience.) She is now the executive vice-president of one of the banks recently bailed out by the government. She has never married. She has no children.
Everybody has a story. And no matter what, everyone needs the chance for acceptance. To be cut a break. To overlook as God so graciously overlooks our stupid stuff - constantly, even when, in the overlooking, it is uncomfortable for us, or hurtful, or confusing.
If someone (like your boss) forces you to go one mile (even if it’s in the wrong direction, you don’t get why you are going, or think your way would be better or faster or smarter or cleaner), go with him two miles. Matt. 5. 41
It doesn’t make any of their behaviors right. Giving others a break, biting the bullet a couple of times instead of jumping to a conclusion or making judgments. Walking a mile in someone else’s shoes only works for good if you are willing to not judge their shoes…but to give them a good shine before you hand them back.
Posted on: September 18, 2009 by Terri
I read the first 4 chapters of Luke this morning. I love Luke’s Gospel! It tells us there’s a place in God’s plan for everyone, there’s good news, women have a role, there’s concern for the poor, sinners, family. Two statements stuck with me this morning and made me smile. The first is chapter 2, verse 19, it says this: But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. This is following the shepherds’ visit after Jesus’ birth and their decision to tell everyone about him. The second statement is the same, but is written after Joseph and Mary leave Jesus, who’s a boy, in Jerusalem and have to go back to find him. He asks them why they’re searching for him, didn’t they know he had to be in his Father’s house. They’re confused by what he says, but he goes back home and is obedient to them. The statement comes again in chapter 2, verse 51: But his mother treasured all these things in her heart.
My family’s not close to being like Mary, Joseph and Jesus, but I treasure things in my heart just like Mary. Things like my youngest grandbaby saying “gommer” as his pushes my face toward his wanting my attention. At 2, he can say my name. Or my middle grandchild running to me and putting his arms around my neck when he hasn’t seen me in awhile and my oldest grandchild saying she misses me and asks when am I coming over for dinner. It’s when my 28 yr. old son and my 22 yr. old daughter call me “mama.” It’s watching my oldest daughter mother her children. Watching and experiencing them is pretty incredible.
Storing up treasures in our hearts brings us feelings of delight, love, happiness, laughter, respect and admiration. We don’t have to be a mom or a grandmom to do this either, we can store up all sorts of things from all those we love in our lives. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for Mary and the feelings she must have had. I do know the feelings I have and at times my heart could burst out of my chest it’s so full of amazing feelings for my loved ones.
Read the beginning chapters in Luke, start there and then ponder all the things that are in your heart like Mary did.
Posted on: June 3, 2009 by Diane
It started today. It goes on early every Wednesday morning. All summer long. The church on the corner that I drive by every morning on my way to work. Seniors showing how it’s done. The Wednesday Wavers!
Each Wednesday I get to witness what it looks like to just be Jesus to a community. For no other reason than to encourage a smile, these committed bunch of senior citizens stand on the sidewalk, holding ‘Have a good day’ and ‘God loves you’ signs and wave at the people in the cars as they drive by. They just smile and wave.
I realized today that I am not a ‘Wednesday Waver’ to very many people - at least not a pure-at-heart Waver. I get too caught up in the result I think should happen - ‘I’ll be kind to that person then that person will want to come to my church/meet God/get baptized.’ or, ‘I could have been mean to that woman cause she was mean to me, but I won’t; then she’ll be nicer/sweeter/more loving to me.’
I too often expect a personal reward of some kind for my efforts, something I can take credit for. The more effort I put into something the more results I think I deserve to see. If I don’t see any, well, then, why should I wave?
Simple.
In Matthew it says that we should do the right things for God, not for people, and not so that we can take the credit, even privately, for the result. Sometimes that means, that I need to stand on the sidewalk waving and smiling, never knowing what happened to the woman who waved and smiled back, to the teenagers on their way to school who honked their horn, to the frowning man who ignored my waving. Just trusting that I am doing what I am doing for God. It’s what he would want me to do, and he sees me doing it.
The rest of it - the outcomes - well, God knows all of that, too, and he’ll take good care of it all.
And that’s enough for me.
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