Posted on: February 9, 2010 by Terri
Sometimes best laid plans just don’t work out and these plans need to change or die. When we sense a change, how do we know it’s God wanting the change and not us wanting to change because things aren’t going our way or we’re bored or frustrated? I struggle with this a lot. After all, Jesus turned the world upside down in 3 years. Wouldn’t anything he’s at the center of do the same thing? I know it sounds corny, but I truly want to be part of leading women in a radical movement for Jesus! That said, should I be regularly analyzying, re-thinking, and second guessing what I believe God wants me to do?
Since I don’t have any answers right now and the desire to lead something radical isn’t leaving my soul, what I need to do is pray these words from Psalm 139:23-24…
Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Posted on: January 15, 2010 by Terri
I’ve just started doing the On Demand workouts with Jillian Michaels. For those of you who know me, you know that tight abs, muscular arms and a trim physique have always been a struggle for me to achieve. During this morning’s workout, Jillian said something that made sense. She said, “You can’t phone it in, you have to do the work!” Her comment made me think about the areas in my life where I have done the work. The results do come.
I made the decision to follow Jesus some 10 years ago which for me meant committing to do the work - the work of developing my relationship with him, reading and learning the Bible, serving in my church, giving my money and sharing my faith with others. I could have just walked out of the baptism tub and returned to the day-to-day, but I wanted so badly to change who I was! I wanted self-esteem, I wanted to accept and see other people the way God did instead of judging them, I wanted to contribute to something significant, I wanted others to get the same new life I’d been given.
Whether it’s spiritual growth or exercise, the work isn’t easy; it takes time and priority adjustments. The person I was 10 years ago is pretty much gone. I think my family and friends would agree. The hard work has gotten me amazing results. The physical changes are coming a bit more slowly, but Jillian’s comment encouraged me to continue to do the work in both areas of my life.
Phoning in our desire to change isn’t an option. We need to do the work.
Tags: acceptance, clear, God, heart, jesus, Relationship, study, Women Filed Under: Bible, Connecting with God, Faith, Prayer, Relationships, Women
Posted on: December 27, 2009 by Diane
Starting in January, and each month through 2010, I am challenging myself - and you - to address some perspectives, prejudices, misunderstandings, or just nasty habits that I’ve acquired over the year. The goal is to learn and observe, and, possibly, change my perspectives and my habits!
So, if you dare, here’s the January Challenge…
Most of an iceberg is under the water, below the surface. Most of an iceberg can’t be seen. There is no way to tell how deep or wide or jagged or damaged or solid it is just by looking at what’s on top of the water.
So, the Challenge for January…to see everyone as an Iceberg. Before I judge, dismiss, ignore, presume. Everyone I see - everyone I interact with - everyone I talk to, wave to, see from afar - everyone. Look at them as if they are an iceberg. Look at them with the absolute assurance that what I see is so little compared to what really makes up this person.
And then…be Curious. Take the time to stop thinking about myself and my well-intentioned or, more often, ill-conceived standards that I use to calculate the person’s near miss, or total miss. Instead, throw out the measureing stick. Toss the self-imposed standards. Take the time to be curious about who that person is. What lies below the surface. The hurts, the successes, the fears, the worries, the joy, the sadness. What lies under the surface that supports what you see. Maybe that curiousity will lead to conversation; maybe only to a prayer extended on that person’s behalf.
For instance…
Why not pray that the woman who is painstakingly counting out the change from the bottom of her purse to pay for her coffee will not feel my irritation, but feel the presence of God at some time that day.
Why not ask the man at work who is constantly backstabbing your efforts, ask how the holidays were for him, what Santa brought him, what he did with his time off.
Change your mind from judging on sight, to seeking what’s real. Being curious about what lies below the surface. To the part of the person that God knows so well, and that we rarely take the time to uncover.
See everyone as an iceberg - and be curious about what lies below the surface.
Seems easy enough, right? I’ll let you know on February 1st what I found out - about others and myself. I challenge you to do the same!!
Posted on: November 17, 2009 by Diane
from Diane’s desk…
I’m mooring my rowboat at the dock of the island called God.
This dock is made in the shape of a fish
and there are many boats moored
at many different docks.
“It’s okay,” I say to myself,
with blisters that broke and healed
and broke and healed –
saving themselves over and over.
And salt sticking to my face and arms like
a glue-skin pocked with grains of tapioca.
I empty myself from my wooden boat
and onto the flesh of The Island.
“On with it!” He says and thus
we squat on the rocks by the sea
and play — can it be true –
a game of poker.
He calls me.
I win because I hold a royal straight flush.
He wins because He holds five aces.
A wild card had been announced
but I had not heard it
being in such a state of awe
when He took out the cards and dealt.
As He plunks down His five aces
and I sit grinning with my royal flush,
He starts to laugh,
and the laughter rolling like a hoop out of His mouth
and into mine,
and such laughter that He doubles right over me
laughing a Rejoice-Chorus at our two triumphs.
Then I laugh, the fishy dock laughs
the sea laughs. The Island laughs.
The Absurd laughs.
Dearest dealer,
I with my royal straight flush,
love you so for your wild card,
that untamable, eternal, gut-driven ha-ha
and lucky love.
Anne Sexton, “The Rowing Endeth,” in The Complete Poems.
Posted on: October 15, 2009 by Terri
I’m sure most of us have taken the “Myers Briggs” somewhere along the way, in school, the workplace, at church - you know, the results give you four letters that describe your personality: E or I, N or S, F or T, J or P. There are 16 different personality types. I’m an ESFJ through and through - Extraverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging. Here’s how an ESFJ is described:
Warmhearted, conscientious, and cooperative. Want harmony in their environment, work with determination to establish it. Like to work with others to complete tasks accurately and on time. Loyal, follow through even in small matters. Notice what others need in their day-by-day lives and try to provide it. Want to be appreciated for who they are and for what they contribute.
Gifts refer to the spiritual gifts I received when I made Jesus the leader and forgiver of my life and was baptized. My top 3 spiritual gifts are evangelism, teaching and leadership.
My passion centers on people. What makes my heart beat fast is helping people meet and form a relationship with Jesus, coming alongside them as they learn about him and connecting them into the life of the church. I love doing these things, just love them!
These descriptions all look good on paper, but in reality it’s not always that peachy! The last couple of months have been extremely stressful for me at work. I know, I know, most would say, “how can working for the church be stressful?” It can be. While my personality is described as this warm and fuzzy, upbeat, team player who goes around all day making sure everybody’s needs are met, when things aren’t working out so harmoniously, my deadlines are impacted by others, and I get verbally roughed up by a co-worker, I’m like a volcano that grumbles and heats up and eventually erupts thousands of feet into the air. And what comes out is just as hot and dangerous as what comes out of a real volcano! What’s more difficult, is that I want to speak up, work it out, and explain myself, but most of the time I can’t do it. I can’t do it because, for years, I’ve been told I’m too emotional, unapproachable, too black & white, overly upset. If I’m quiet, others can’t say or think those things about me which is what an ESFJ wants - harmony!
My volcano erupted last night and it wasn’t good! Two people I love and trust said I need to figure out how to STOP letting stuff impact me so deeply and so personally. Yeah, I know that, but boy is it hard to put into practice. They also told me the only thing I can control and change is me. They’re right again.
So today’s a new day. I’m up doing what brings me comfort and hope - reading my Bible, talking to God and writing it down. Prayer, Jesus’ words, and time alone always bring the start of change and healing; the continued growth toward Christlikeness.
Tags: Bible, change, Faith, God, individuality, jesus, love, Relationship Filed Under: Bible, Connecting with God, Faith, Growth, Prayer, Relationships
Posted on: September 27, 2009 by Diane
from Diane’s desk…
Wow! Crazy few months for those in the world of celebrity (or politics, which many think are one and the same!). Let me summarize…
- Serena screams and walks off the court.
- Joe Wilson, an elected representative, yells at the President of the United States.
- Kanye West steals the moment from a deserving award winner.
- Mark Sanford cheats on his wife and then asks all Christians to forgive him.
Call all of it what it truly is. Rude. Incivil. Wrong. Sad.
I’d love to say my sensibilities wandered to praying for them, thinking about how to help them figure it out, forgive themselves, heal those they hurt. You know, pray ‘em up’. Nope. Didn’t do it. (Well, I did have un-prayer-like thoughts for Mrs. Sanford, but certainly not with intent of her showing her husband any kindness, for sure!!)
I judged. Almost immediately. I ripped out my self-righteous yardstick (I carry it with me everywhere!) and found them all seriously wanting compared to me. And, even though I can readily admit that I am far from perfect, for a wonderful few moments, I was better than someone else!! Whoa! I put some good icing on that delicious cake!!
I need to get over myself!! I don’t know about you, but for me, I need to learn to do what Jesus said. First, he made it very clear that comparing ourselves to what happens to others, to what road someone else is on, is not what God wants (John 21.20-23) for us.
Second, he made it clear to make sure that the plank (that would be a giant, honking two-by-four!) was outta my eye, so I could help (graciously, lovingly, humbly) someone else get the speck of sawdust (small, tiny, miniscule) outta theirs. (Luke 6.41)
He wants us to encourage each other, so we don’t stumble; and when (not, if…) we do trip, or even fall, not to turn away, ignore, oust ‘em, or laugh, gossip or…sigh, judge each other. He wants us to treat others the way we would like to be treated.
Famous or not…front page story or neighborhood barbecue…help each other up!
Posted on: August 29, 2009 by Diane
from Diane’s desk…
I’ve never been good at a ‘quiet time’ - time spent with God, usually early in the morning - praying, or meditating, or journaling, or all of the above. Communing with God. Lots of books written about it. Sermons preached. Speakers talked about. I envy this practice but it has never worked for me, as much as I tried. But I haven’t given up. Perhaps someday…
I believe God created each of us as unique - unique looks, temperments, natural abilities. If that is true, why would it even begin to make sense that there would be only one formula for chatting with God.
The Bible says pray without ceasing (1 Thess 5.15). This appears to put no limits on how and when and why to pray. It doesn’t allow for a once-and-done check on a To Do list. Pray without ceasing seems to insinuate that it is never done!
Today, I traveled back from vacation, and found myself staring out the window totally at peace with the blessings that God has drenched me with. Good friends. Married to my best friend. Health. Kids. Job. I was overwhelmed by a loving God. Check.
A couple weeks ago, work-induced stress had gotten the best of me. One morning I spent a half hour in my car, just crying and asking God to help me calm down so I could get out of the car and go into my office. Check. I stopped crying, but was far from calm. I don’t know when it happened, but ten hours later I left work calm, cool and collected. I thanked God for being a stealth comforter. Check.
I pray on the way to meetings at work, or at the church. Check. I pray for closed lips that don’t allow gossip to escape. Check. I ask God to let me see the pain in others’ lives that they hide behind their selfish ambitions. I pray for the woman ahead of me in line at the grocery store who is paying for her groceries with food stamps. I pray for forgiveness when I curse at an illogical driver ahead of me. I pray when someone calls with a need. I pray for the right words to write on this blog. Check. Check. Check.
For some, this free-wheeling ongoing chatter with God sounds so undisciplined. I would argue the opposite. ’Praying without ceasing’ is a discipline that has challenged me more than I can say. I am sure I have not reached the ‘unceasing’ objective.
As it develops into a habit, God touches me in unexpected ways. I am living proof that God travels well.
Posted on: May 31, 2009 by Terri
I’ve been struggling with disappointment recently, struggling to the point of being paralyzed. I allowed the disappointment to leave me feeling empty, alone and distant. I didn’t realize just how I was feeling until I talked it out with a friend. After talking with my friend, I commented on facebook about “how good the next breath feels after disappointment knocks the wind out of you.”
Through this, I prayed and read my Bible, which is always what keeps me grounded. I asked God to help me figure out why I let what happened throw me into such a funk. Day after day I’d wake up, ask God the same question as to why and then go through the motions of my day with no passion, excitement or joy. I think what scared me the most was the fear that my commitment and passion for following Jesus was becoming a flicker and not a bonfire! I read Paul, James, and Peter’s words about perseverance and I realized that’s what I had to do, everyday, no matter what. I had to persevere!
So yesterday, I opened the book I’m reading and the chapter’s titled “Survive When the Audience Is Just Not That Into You” and began to read. Two paragraphs in, here’s what I read: We all fail. Not all of us, however, get up the next day determined to do better. Perseverance is the measure of those who succeed. I just laughed, and thought to myself “okay, okay, I get it!” So it happened; I failed! I need to do better - I need to listen better, research better, serve better, understand better, answer better - I need to allow my failure to spur me on to being and doing better. Jesus deserves that from me!
I breathed the next breath in and I’ve let it out, and now I’m ready to move on.
Posted on: December 30, 2008 by Terri
The January cover of O Magazine shows two pictures of Oprah - one trim and fit with her abs exposed; the other she’s in a purple workout suit. The quote under the image says, “How did I let this happen again?” Oprah on her battle with weight: a must-read for anyone who’s ever fallen off the wagon. I’ve been on and off that wagon with Oprah for most of my life. She’s probably one of the wealthiest women in the U.S. and has all the latest and greatest trainers, chefs, and equipment at her fingertips yet she still can’t seem to win the battle. It just goes to show you that all the ‘bests’ in the world aren’t the keys to staying fit and healthy. There’s something that keeps us, Oprah and those who share the struggle, from changing our mindset or habits or whatever it is that needs changing.
I wonder so many things when I think about my own battle with weight. What if I was raised differently - different food and more than your normal childhood exercise of swimming, bike riding and walking? What if I had played sports? What if my dad hadn’t been so worried about what I weighed when I was a kid? Why is it when I lose weight it’s always about how I look and not about my health? Did some of the creepy things that happened to me as a teen girl have an impact on my behavior around food and my body image? Let me tell you it’s a head trip for sure. There isn’t a day that goes by I don’t think about what I’m going to eat, how I look from head to toe and what size clothes I wear. I’m sure some of the same things swirl around in Oprah’s head everyday too.
Does being overweight mean you’re out of control? Does it mean there’s some underlying issue in your life where you use food to fix it? Or does it mean you enjoy eating and you don’t enjoy exercising as much? Face it; we’ve all got something in our life that’s a struggle. Sadly, if you’ve got the perfect body the world thinks you’ve got your act together.
At nearly 49, I’m still trying to shed my unwanted pounds and stay healthy through better eating and exercise. As much as I have those daily thoughts, they are minor. They don’t consume me like they have in the past. Honestly, I feel pretty good about how I look on the outside and I think it’s because I’ve worked so hard at how I look on the inside. The words from Psalm 139:23-24 are the words I’ve used to ask for God’s help:
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
I’ve asked God to help me understand all the stupid stuff I’ve felt and believed for years; to change those feelings and beliefs and to give me his perspective on how I should feel and what I should believe going forward. Trust me, it’s like a well-made garment - if it looks good and is put together well on the inside, it looks great and holds up better on the outside. Who knows, maybe if we all felt right on the inside, our opinions about what looks good on the outside would be drastically different.
Posted on: December 26, 2008 by Diane
Happy Holidays to all - and a happy new year 2009!
Below is a prayer that I posted earlier in the year, but want to re-post to refocus and think about the year that stretches before us. This prayer was written by a woman who walked and talked a closeness with God that I aspire to and have yet to even have in my distant horizon…
But for me, this new year, as every year before, holds promise and mystery and the hope that I’ll get closer to that walk. For now, I do rest comfortably in the security of knowing that God loves me and is still in control of all of it, even when I can’t, in my humble humanness, figure out what the heck he is doing, or why in the world he would choose to do it that way!
May your new year be blessed with a closeness to God that you have never experienced before, and the security of knowing you are loved by a great, big huge God who has it all under control (somehow!).
Saint Theresa ‘ s Prayer
May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.
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