Posted on: January 15, 2010 by Terri
I’ve just started doing the On Demand workouts with Jillian Michaels. For those of you who know me, you know that tight abs, muscular arms and a trim physique have always been a struggle for me to achieve. During this morning’s workout, Jillian said something that made sense. She said, “You can’t phone it in, you have to do the work!” Her comment made me think about the areas in my life where I have done the work. The results do come.
I made the decision to follow Jesus some 10 years ago which for me meant committing to do the work - the work of developing my relationship with him, reading and learning the Bible, serving in my church, giving my money and sharing my faith with others. I could have just walked out of the baptism tub and returned to the day-to-day, but I wanted so badly to change who I was! I wanted self-esteem, I wanted to accept and see other people the way God did instead of judging them, I wanted to contribute to something significant, I wanted others to get the same new life I’d been given.
Whether it’s spiritual growth or exercise, the work isn’t easy; it takes time and priority adjustments. The person I was 10 years ago is pretty much gone. I think my family and friends would agree. The hard work has gotten me amazing results. The physical changes are coming a bit more slowly, but Jillian’s comment encouraged me to continue to do the work in both areas of my life.
Phoning in our desire to change isn’t an option. We need to do the work.
Tags: acceptance, clear, God, heart, jesus, Relationship, study, Women Filed Under: Bible, Connecting with God, Faith, Prayer, Relationships, Women
Posted on: November 15, 2009 by Terri
It’s hard for me to not take “it” personally, especially when “it” comes to my work. My entire life I’ve loved working. My love for my work started with a few lucrative babysitting jobs, Orange Julius all through high school, managing a real estate office, corporate sales and marketing a few years later and today as the Director of Involvement at Christ’s Church of the Valley. No matter the position, I’m passionate about serving people, building relationships with co-workers and improving the environment in the workplace through my contributions.
The last few weeks I’ve heard a lot of criticism and complaints about areas I lead at the church. What’s worse is I didn’t hear the feedback directly. Boy, was I defensive, confused, hurt, jealous, angry. I kept thinking over and over, “Why didn’t these people come and tell me? They know me. They know how much I want things to be better.”
All week, my facebook posts reflected my reactions to this feedback. All the character flaws I constantly work on, rooted their ugly little heads - jealousy, anger, judgment.
If it weren’t for two good friends, I’d probably still be wallowing in it all. Today’s a better day; God was gracious enough to give me the time I needed to put everything in proper perspective. I realized I don’t have any control over people’s perceptions and the fact that they shared with others instead of sharing with me.
One friend reminded me that my dependence and focus on Jesus are what have kept me grounded in times like these. What’s most important is following him, serving him and others and letting him do the work through me. People are people, me included. We are works in progress. The only things I have control over are the things I say and do and how I exemplify Jesus to others. These are the things I should take personally!
Posted on: September 30, 2009 by Terri
After the brunch earlier this month, I talked with a few women who shared their negative experiences at their tables. And not just at this brunch, but at others in the past. One woman said, “I brought a friend and not one person at our table said hello or introduced themselves.” Another shared about a woman at her table who dominated the conversation, never giving anyone else a chance to interact. There were two women, none at the table knew, who never even got a hello. One other confided that three women at her table critized what CLEAR is and isn’t doing the entire morning all the while a woman who’d never attended sat there and listened. I was surprised these things would happen at a CLEAR event, NOT! At an event filled with women, of course there’s going to be some interesting situations. We’re still learning to be kind and accepting of one another and to think outside ourselves.
I know these things happen amongst women, because at one point in my life this was my game. I was the queen of sizing up another woman and deciding right there and then whether or not I’d welcome her into my presence! From that point on, I’d either chat it up with the woman or I was aloof and distant. I also loved to look on while others did their thing making comments on how I would do this or that and how much better it would be. I hurt so many women in my life with my behavior, co-workers, family members, neighbors.
In thinking and praying about how we change this within CLEAR, I thought of some of the passages in the Bible that talk about hospitality. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need, practice hospitality - Romans 12:13; Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers… - Hebrews 13:2; Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling - 1 Peter 4:9; We ought therefore show hospitality to such people… - 3 John 1:8.
Thank goodness there’s a flipside to the negative experiences. At the last brunch, I noticed two very good friends sitting at separate tables. I knew what they were doing without having talked to either one. These two women intentionally made the decision to mingle and meet new women. A woman at the table where the conversation was dominated by the one went to the two newcomers after the brunch and introduced herself.
Women, we’ve got to do it. We’ve got to show hospitality. I know we’re not all wired up the same way, some of us are shy, some of us love meeting people and some of us share too much. But for those of us who follow Jesus, the Bible’s pretty clear on how we should respond to those with whom we rub shoulders. It’s the better way. We all want to be known, loved and accepted. So I’m throwing out the challenge to all of us to be hospitable, and not just at a CLEAR brunch once a quarter, but in all situations.
Posted on: August 7, 2009 by Terri
Women, if you haven’t seen the movie, you should. I caught the end of it yesterday and watched it with my daughters. I saw it in the theater shortly after its release. Loved it then, bought the DVD, love it every time it’s on one of the movie channels. I never saw the show, but obviously that doesn’t matter because you get it when you see the movie. The “it” is the friendship these women share. It is freaking amazing. Each woman is a unique individual living her own life and the others support her regardless of her choices - good or bad. They tell each other the truth, they fight, they tease, they laugh together, they cry together, and they come to each other’s rescue. They are there for each other through it all.
Don’t we all want girlfriends like this? I know I do. Instead, here’s what I see: women keeping women at arm’s length, women talking behind women’s backs, women judging and critizing women who aren’t like them, women who are lonely, women who want to be accepted by women, women standing by watching women struggle and doing nothing. women who can’t commit. I know it’s a movie, but I know in my heart of hearts this kind of friendship can exist.
I’m one of the fortunate ones; I have a few friendships like this. If we don’t have friendships like this, why don’t we? I know friendships can’t be forced, but how can we women start treating each other the way Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte treat each other? The best place to start is with ourselves. We need to make the decision to see other females as valuable human beings with unique life expereiences that make them who they are. We need to start with a blank slate and an attitude of love, acceptance and genuine interest in the future of each individual woman.
There were tons of funny scenes in the movie that bring my point home. The clothes, jewelry and hairstyles are fabulous, the dialogue is raw and the sex scenes are very, very naked and steamy. But above all those things is an amazing friendship shared by four women just like you and me. What do you think? Do you think we girls can stop all the foolishness and start enjoying relationships with other one another that rock?
