Category Archives: Community

Perspective

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It’s the best of times. It’s the worst of times. It’s about perspective.

Life happens. And it happens with or without our conscious involvement in its meaning. Or its significance. Sleepwalking or wide awake. Doing the same thing over and over, mindlessly. Or, choosing to see the wonder of the moment.

What is it that pushes us out of whack – that moves our dealing with life’s ups and downs with a positive joy to an habitual laser focus on the clouds and the darkness?

Fear. Doubt. Pride. Insecurity. Self-centered longings. For me, it’s about control – a cheap imitation of selfishness. Trying to control my life is not enough, I must control all around me. It’s a habit I’ve been working on for awhile. I do this better than years ago. It’s a habit that stole joy from raising my kids more times than I choose to admit; selfishness changes perspective, often for the worst.

Whatever it is that binds you up – step back and look at it and at your life, from an eternal perspective. You just might find yourself humbled by the significance of the mundane, engulfed with the joy of being a human being, unapologetically loved by a faceless Creator who asks for only two things – love God and love each other.

In Africa. In Pennsylvania. In our home. At the grocery store. In the dentist chair. At the hospital. In the voting booth. Cleaning your house. Dealing with teenage kids, or toddlers, or elderly parents. Driving in traffic. Balancing a checkbook. Even when people just won’t do what you tell them to do!!!

No matter what. No matter where. Love God. Love each other. It gives perspective to even the worst of times.

Small Group Flunky

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I’ve been in five or six small groups over the last nine years. Half the time I was a member; the other I was a leader. None of these groups lasted very long. My track record in groups basically sucks. I believe it’s extremely important to spend time with other people talking about God, personal ups and downs, work, family, politics, etc. Why then haven’t I fit into the “standard” small group model? Why have these groups gone belly up? Honestly, there are a lot of reasons. Regardless, I still wonder why the small group thing hasn’t worked for me. I would venture to guess that I’m not alone.  

I think what’s happened is that we Christians haven’t been very creative, deliberate or willing to step out of our comfort zones to develop the community Jesus intended. Somebody told us years ago that we should get in a group with people we don’t know, sit in a circle, answer questions from a book written by someone we don’t know and end the time together in an awkward time of prayer. Oh my gosh – who feels comfortable in that setting? My guess would be almost no one, but it’s all we’ve ever known.

I’m a fan of Jesus’ approach to small groups. He was a leader who went out and personally asked people to be in his “group.” After they joined him, they hung out and did all sorts of things. They talked about God, they ate together, they traveled together, they served together, they prayed together, they told each other the truth, they questioned each other, they were committed to each other.

Spiritual growth and deep, committed relationships form in all different kinds of settings – playing sports, sharing a meal, shopping, talking about books or movies, serving the poor, studying the Bible, etc. My hunch is that most of us aren’t really getting to know other people so we have no idea whether or not we want to hang out with or have anything in common them. We do our thing Monday through Frinday, attend a church service on Sunday, never saying much to those around us in that service, then we go home and start all over again. No spiritual discussions, no real friendships, no spiritual growth, just the same old.

Personally, Jesus’ approach feels more natural to me.  I wonder what it would look if we were all reaching out to others developing relationships where spiritual discussions flow free, fun is being had, service to others is a must and life’s ups and downs are being tackled together, not alone.

On the Outside Looking In…

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Sometimes it seems like we, who are in paid ministry, are on the outside looking in. There’s a world of people out there that Jesus told us to go reach and teach. Everything we do is focused on two things: 1) telling anyone and everyone what it means to have faith in Jesus; and 2) teaching those with faith in Jesus how to be his followers. Sometimes it’s very apparent that we’re worlds apart and we don’t really understand what the other is about. This makes me think we ministry folk need to be even more aware that we’re not only looking out at the world; but that they’re looking back at us as well. The window goes both ways.I wonder what those people on the outside see when they look in on us? Do they think we work hard like they do, burning the midnight oil to get the job done? Do they believe we do what we do with pure intentions and that it’s not about the money? Is it hard for them to imagine there’s any work that goes on outside of what they see during a Sunday service? Do we compare to them and what they do even though we’re in a different industry? Are we considered professionals?

Then you have the other side of the window; we ministry people on the outside looking in on the world of people we’re trying to reach and teach. We’re a lot like them. We have jobs, homes, kids, pets, marriages, illnesses, money struggles, decisions to make, etc. We wonder why they don’t believe what we’re saying. We talk at length about what their needs are and how we can meet those needs. We ask ourselves how we can better equip God’s people to do the work he gave us to do. We consistently strive to break down the barriers between the church and the world. We want to introduce them to the God of the Bible, not the God human beings have created.

I’d love to have all the answers of how to get rid of the looking glass. I’ve committed my life to that very thing. For us who follow Jesus it means being on the streets out amongst them like Jesus was during his lifetime. He knew the people. He knew their needs. He met them where they were. We need to do the same. From those early days in Jesus’ life, we humans have made God an untouchable, strict schoolmaster, who only a few were worthy of knowing. For the church to be what Jesus intended, it needs to be accessible, interesting, relevant, exciting, honest and meaningful. That’s who Jesus was. He didn’t just look at people and wonder; he was in the mix with them. People got to know who he was and what God wanted him to do. They didn’t have to wonder about him either. They were drawn to God through him and ultimately committed their lives to doing the same work he did.

How are we doing when it comes to breaking the glass like Jesus did?

Comments, Bad or Good?

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I’m a commentator of sorts or maybe commenter is a better description. I have something to say about almost everything. My husband calls it, “The world according to Terri.” and a friend says, “It’s all about Terri.” Dictionary.com says commentaries are comments or explanations, anything serving to illustrate, prompt a realization or exemplify. I know I’m not alone, we all have comments and opinions about all sorts of things. Sharing our thoughts is human nature. I think the issue is how and when we share. From where does the commentary come? Do our comments come from a place of love, knowledge and understanding with a desire to tell others the truth and help them see another side or are they from a place where there’s hurt, jealousy and selfishness?

I’ve given my commentary from both places. I’ve shared my thoughts when I wasn’t asked. I’ve been angry many times when I gave my distorted commentary on one thing or another. I’ve also not said a word when I should have. I didn’t weigh in because I wanted to be a team player and not stir the pot. I think the line is fine, very, very fine. Should we keep quiet because the risk is our comments will be seen as criticisms, judgment or gossip? After all, the Bible tells us not to judge, to love our neighbors and to turn the other cheek. 

Here’s the thing, if we don’t ever share our thoughts, comments and opinions with each other, how do we help one another develop character, consider our actions or take risks? I believe what we need to do is be wise in our comment making, sharing when emotions are in check, after we’ve listened carefully and we’re able to be honest and genuinely helpful. I know it’s easier said than done, but I think if we use words wisely within our relationships we can have a profound impact on one another.  Just imagine our relationships if they were based on trust and honesty, genuine insight and input, love and support.

I think this is the true meaning of those Bible passages telling us not to judge and to love one another. In Ephesians 4 Paul encourages those in the church to be unified and to become mature. I think his words in verses 14 – 16 sum up what I’m trying to say:

“Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.”

Wednesday Wavers

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It started today. It goes on early every Wednesday morning. All summer long. The church on the corner that I drive by every morning on my way to work. Seniors showing how it’s done. The Wednesday Wavers!

Each Wednesday I get to witness what it looks like to just be Jesus to a community. For no other reason than to encourage a smile, these committed bunch of senior citizens stand on the sidewalk, holding ‘Have a good day’ and ‘God loves you’ signs and wave at the people in the cars as they drive by. They just smile and wave. 

I realized today that I am not a ‘Wednesday Waver’ to very many people – at least not a pure-at-heart Waver. I get too caught up in the result I think should happen – ‘I’ll be kind to that person then that person will want to come to my church/meet God/get baptized.’ or, ‘I could have been mean to that woman cause she was mean to me, but I won’t; then she’ll be nicer/sweeter/more loving to me.’

I too often expect a personal reward of some kind for my efforts, something I can take credit for. The more effort I put into something the more results I think I deserve to see. If I don’t see any, well, then, why should I wave? 

Simple. 

In Matthew it says that we should do the right things for God, not for people, and not so that we can take the credit, even privately, for the result. Sometimes that means, that I need to stand on the sidewalk waving and smiling, never knowing what happened to the woman who waved and smiled back, to the teenagers on their way to school who honked their horn, to the frowning man who ignored my waving. Just trusting that I am doing what I am doing for God. It’s what he would want me to do, and he sees me doing it. 

The rest of it – the outcomes – well, God knows all of that, too, and he’ll take good care of it all.

And that’s enough for me.

And The Survey Says…

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CLEAR has a year under its belt and we’re off to a good start in 2009. Our team would like to know what you think about what we’re doing. Here’s a recap of what we’ve done and what’s coming up:

  1. Hosted 3 brunches in 2008
  2. Hosted “Crop, Paper, Scissors” in January 2009 – CLEAR’s first quarterly community connection event
  3. Sent a newsletter to over 1,000 women in February 2009
  4. Started a book club in February 2009 (2nd book, The Shack, discussion is planned for May)
  5. Coming April 17th, a 2nd community connection event, Girls Get Your Game On (see event calendar for more details)
  6. Hosting our first conference for women: Under the Influence on Saturday, June 13th
  7. Planning events for single moms

As women of all ages and backgrounds, have you found CLEAR’s events, blog and facebook group helpful? Are you making connections with each other? Are you reaching out to friends and neighbors to join you at CLEAR events? Are you reading the blogs? Is there too much or too little?

Last year, women in focus groups told us they wanted connections, communication and more from the Bible. Are those needs being met? Have you made any new friends? Where are you spiritually? Do you know what’s happening with CLEAR?

The CLEAR team wants to know. Post your thoughts here. Tell us what you like and what you don’t like.

New Facebook Groups!

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Hey, all!! If you are a Facebook user (or want a reason to be one!), a few new discussion topics were just added in the CLEAR group discussion board. To get there – first, join Facebook (facebook.com), then on your Facebook Home page, on the rightside of the screen, click on Groups, at the top of the Groups page search for Facing it w/ Clear, and join – it’s simple!

One of the topics is ‘Six words to describe the love of your life’…here’s some examples…jump in and let’s hear what your love is like.

Enjoy!

  • Magnetic attraction fused two polar opposites
  • Much married, fourth time is charmed.
  • Hog the covers, I don’t mind.
  • Not always perfect…but so worthwhile.
  • May/December….the best of seasons.
  • He’s dumb but lifts heavy stuff.

Community, Shammunity

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I have always had a hard time getting my head around the idea of being in ‘community’. You know, to be in some kind of close relationships in which people care about you and know you really well. 

So, it has been with great reluctance over the last six years that I have tried out this community ‘thing.’ I have been involved in several different Home Teams – one that I led was just for women, a couple I attended with my husband, one I co-led. In each case, I walked away after a year or so, and did not look back. Oh, I met great people who I enjoy seeing every week, who still kid with me about some of the fun stuff we did together in those teams. The mixed feelings (mostly guilt and confusion) I have about this has led me, over the past year or so, to some pretty serious soul-searching. 

As a result, I have come to two very profound conclusions (OK, perhaps not all that profound to most of you, but to me…they are). First, community is absolutely, definitely, without a doubt a need for every single person. It is something that God created us to have. It’s a hole in your heart, an unspoken prayer, a loss that you can’t seem to fill any other way. Second, and most profound for me, community may look different depending on a person’s life experience, personality, needs. 

For me, community looks small and intimate; safe and calm and open and extremely trusting. It looks like the intimate trio of disciples who Jesus took away with him to the mountains to pray with, who saw Jesus’s transfiguration, who fell asleep the night before he was taken away to die for them. That’s the intimacy that I thirst for, and so far, have found with only a couple of people. It is what I need community to be. And that’s OK. 

For the vast majority of people, what I just described is not nearly enough. The sheer thrill of a room full of people, who are all in discussion, chatting, energized, caring, listening, being together – that is like the best!!  It’s like what it must have been for the twelve disciples to be chattering about Jesus when he wasn’t around. Excited, awestruck, questioning, listening, energized. This kind of community fits well with what so many people are seeking. They are a part of something. It is where they need it be. And that’s OK. 

I personally witnessed a different kind of community on Saturday when I attended the CLEAR Crop, Paper, Scissors scrapbooking event. With little more than the creative outlet of a hobby in common – and a plethora of stickers and glue and little contraptions to make cuts and shapes and holes and bumps – several dozen women, most of whom had never met before, become a community – if just for that day. It was social, and loud, and fun, yet it had a level of intimacy that was palpable. One table of women wanted to stay for hours longer. ‘Can we just stay and lock up the building when we leave?’ They were thirsty for this time together. And that was OK, too.  

As I drove home from that Event, I was so thankful that I attended. I don’t scrapbook, have little interest in pursuing it even after being dipped into the middle of the pool of scrappers. But I envied their ease  of togetherness. I envied their instant community. And I knew, then, without a shadow of a doubt that community is nothing to shake my head at. That community was a divine gift that God gave us, a divine need that he put inside each of us. So no matter what that looks like for you, figure it out, and then, pursue it, jump in, and connect. 

CLEAR will be sponsoring a bunch of events in 2009 – come and join in. Test it out.

Find out, as I have found, that it just might be this community thing that has been missing in your life. Can’t hurt to try. It just might be the answer to the unspoken prayer you’ve had for years. It was for me. 

Hope to see you, and connect with you, at our next Event!! (Book Club in February and May, Brunch in March, Chick Game Night  in April, Conference in June!!!!)

CLEAR Happens!!

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Thanks to all who were able to attend our first scrapbooking event, Crop, Paper, Scissors, on Saturday. As someone brand new to this, I was absolutely in awe of the creativity and personal commitment that so many of these creative women demonstrate in their beautiful pages, and cards. I learned lots, and was inspired enough to make two cards – all by myself!! So that means, anyone can learn!! So, it was great fun! We laughed alot!! And, OK, we also ate a lot of chocolate, but that had nothing to do with all the laughing!!

Next Event: Book Club

We’ll be discussing Lynne Hybels’ book, Nice Girls Don’t Change the World, at our 2-week Book Club on February 7th and 14th, 9:00 a.m. at the CCV Building. The book can be purchased at the CCV kiosk for $10, or through Amazon 

Attached you will find a link to the CLEAR Book Review as well as a link to my initial reaction to the book when I read it last year. 

http://get2clear.com/blog/?p=156
http://krack-up.com/blog/?p=58

And that’s not all…still to come…

March 7th – CLEAR Brunch, CCV Building, 9:00 – 11:00 a.m., babysitting provided

April 17th – Chick Bingo (oh yeah, bingo just for chicks, no guys! Food, fun, prizes!!). Watch this site for more details!!

June 13th - Women’s Conference – all day event, so line up babysitters early!!

Hope to see you at one of these CLEAR events! Until then, keep warm!!