Category Archives: Growth

Change…

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I am not a big fan of change. When something works, why fix it? If everything is going along fine, why mess with it? Can’t we just maintain the status quo, please?

There are a lot of changes going on all around me that I am completely powerless to stop. My kids are growing up and the family dynamics are swiftly changing. My father is in the throes of dementia and my mother’s way of life (and by extension, those of my sisters and me) is changing. Things at work are always changing. The weather is always changing. My weight is always changing. Even my weekend plans are always in a state of flux.

Sometimes I want to dig my feet in and just say no. This situation is fine just the way it is, thank you very much. But in my attempt to be more in line with God’s way of doing things I decided to look up the word “change” in the bible. I thought maybe I could find some justification for staying the same.

Dangit.

The word is used in two different ways, neither of which support my hopes of a static existence.

As a human we should desire change. Change from the old self into a new self.

As God, HE is unchangeable. In fact, he is the only thing that does not change.

*sigh*

Which means I have to change my way of thinking. And the truth is, change isn’t always a bad thing. In fact it might be a little uncomfortable at times, but usually it’s a good thing. Sometimes a really good thing.

So how do I accept change with the right attitude? Not by myself, I’ll tell you that!

First I remember Romans 8:28 ~

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Okay. I love him and I know he’s called me according to his purpose, not my own. And he IS God, after all, which means he’s much smarter than I am. So maybe this change is a good thing.

Then I remember Philippians 4:6-7 ~

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

That “peace of God” part? It’s my favorite. Especially when the change isn’t welcomed at all, as in the example of my father’s declining health.

If I truly believe God is in control of everything then I suppose (albeit a little begrudgingly at times) I can handle the change.

Do you struggle with change? If not, what’s your secret? If so, what do you do about it?

 

 

How God Fits…

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By Becky Preston

Perhaps I may take the liberty to reword this sentence into something a little different: “Helping women see how they fit into the story of God.”  Not very catchy, but I believe this is the mission of the church, and therefore the individuals who make up the church.  I also believe that this is the intention of the CLEAR ministry of CCV.

Now this can be a bit intimidating to those of us who have spent a lifetime trying to determine “God’s will for my life”.  I am guilty of this, but after all these years I have determined several things.  God’s will in my life is not unlike the will of God for many.  He wants us to believe in Him and in the work His Son, Jesus, did while on this earth.  Simple, just believe.  In CLEAR, we want people to believe in Jesus Christ.

But it doesn’t stop at belief.  Once we have taken the step towards belief, we have responsibilities.  God has called His followers to action, primarily in the role of obedience.  Am I talking about the Ten Commandments?  Perhaps, but I think obedience is more like living a life that is worthy of His having called us to be His children.  Obedience is taking His commands and following them.  Some of His commands are to bring others into the family of God, disciple those who are within our realm of influence, encourage the discouraged, weep with those who weep, care for those who have needs, be hospitable, pray, become mature followers, and on and on.  The New Testament gives us a multitude of ways in which we can follow God and be obedient to His commands.  When we obey Him, we glorify Him.   CLEAR wants to help women identify where God has called them to be obedient.  In this, CLEAR can bring glory to God.

You may think, “This is all well and good, but what does it look like?  That is a big list and I can’t possibly do all those things.”  I don’t think God is asking us to do this for the whole world, but within our circle of influence.  We have families, friends, jobs, and other settings that we frequent.  Those are the areas in which we are responsible to minister to others.  Where we are and what season of life we are in is likely God’s calling for us right now.  It may change as we seek other opportunities or our children grow up and live their own calling, but being confident in the knowledge that God has us where we need to be at this time is priceless.  Resting in God is certainly a way to be obedient and to give Him glory.  CLEAR desires to support each woman in the stage of life that God has called her.

In the end, believing in Jesus the Son of God, and being obedient to the life God has called us to brings glory to God.  Ultimately, the CLEAR ministry desires to bring glory to God.

A Change of Plans

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Sometimes best laid plans just don’t work out and these plans need to change or die. When we sense a change, how do we know it’s God wanting the change and not us wanting to change because things aren’t going our way or we’re bored or frustrated? I struggle with this a lot. After all, Jesus turned the world upside down in 3 years. Wouldn’t anything he’s at the center of do the same thing? I know it sounds corny, but I truly want to be part of leading women in a radical movement for Jesus! That said, should I be regularly analyzying, re-thinking, and second guessing what I believe God wants me to do?

Since I don’t have any answers right now and the desire to lead something radical isn’t leaving my soul, what I need to do is pray these words from Psalm 139:23-24…

Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Resolution Rock

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from Diane’s desk…

Whatever you do or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.        ~Wolfgang van Goethe

As we approach the final countdown to 2010, there are few who do not reflect on the past year and wonder…what if…if only…why…why not?  At least that is true for me, or was. Until last year. December 2008. I decided to make a change. To forget about the usual resolution to lose weight. After 20 years of that, it gets a little stale!! But to resolve to be different. Not to ‘do’ different – but to ‘be’ different.

Earlier that year my sister – my friend – died. And with death, went years and years of her resolutions and dreams down the drain. Never to be achieved. Dreams kept at arms’ length by fear that masqueraded as lack of finances. Seeing harp seals in the wild; going to college; starting a craft business. Dreams that died with her. One day before the morphine took her clarity, we talked about missed opportunities, those ‘wish I woulda’ dreams. Still vocalizing hope to do it all, her eyes told the real state of her heart. They were sad and deep and dim – she knew it was too late.

In the weeks following her death, I made a promise to myself to cease letting fears stop me. At the top of that list was to face my fear of real poverty by going to Africa to see and work with the urban poor in Nairobi. What would it do to me? Could I handle it? Would I be strong enough to take on what God wanted me to do about it? So in February, off I went – to Africa. I walked in the abject poverty that I had feared. I smelled it. I heard it. I witnessed the incredible poverty of hope that can pierce the air without a ripple. It moved me in a way that I cannot describe.

That first night – after walking through the slums – I sat at the window of my room looking out into the strange streets of Nairobi. I cried for hours. That kind of weeping that comes from deep inside. Sobbing. Exhausting. Releasing. Grief. Accomplishment. Sadness. Overcome by her death. By the extreme poverty. By the sadness in those people’s eyes that looked so much like my sister’s in those last months. By the emptiness of loss. And somehow, after awhile, a release of extreme gratitude. For having known her. For being inspired by her confidence in me. For knowing that she was finally completely fulfilled and loved in God’s presence. For knowing that God had some stuff for me to finish – and that meant I needed to get started. And not just Africa. I was just beginning, and beginning is only half done!

Fear paralyzes. In the Bible, Matthew writes that after a storm scared the disciples, Jesus said to them, ‘You of little faith, why are you so afraid?’ Fear paralyzed the men who had actually seen Jesus heal with a touch, a word, a look. They SAW miracles. And still they feared. Fear fixates us on what is lacking, instead of what is abundant. God’s love and power and, thankfully, grace are abundant. Fear keeps us from the extreme pleasure of knowing the exciting, enthralling, inspiring goodness that God has in store for us.

And it begins with a resolution – at the start of a new year or anytime. A resolution to stop taking life for granted; to take hold of that fear that stops you from taking the first step. Don’t waste another New Year’s resolution on losing weight. My prayer is that you’ll join me – not in Africa, perhaps, but in the pursuit of what God has created you to do!!!

So, for me, here’s to a New Year, and a resolution to go ‘at it again’ – to trounce on those fears. To feel, again, the exhilaration of relying on God to get me through. 2009 was a year not soon to be forgotten. I resolve to do the same in 2010!!

January Challenge: The Iceberg

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Starting in January, and each month through 2010, I am challenging myself – and you – to address some perspectives, prejudices, misunderstandings, or just nasty habits that I’ve acquired over the year. The goal is to learn and observe, and, possibly, change my perspectives and my habits!

So, if you dare, here’s the January Challenge…

Most of an iceberg is under the water, below the surface. Most of an iceberg can’t be seen. There is no way to tell how deep or wide or jagged or damaged or solid it is just by looking at what’s on top of the water.

So, the Challenge for January…to see everyone as an Iceberg. Before I judge, dismiss, ignore, presume. Everyone I see – everyone I interact with – everyone I talk to, wave to, see from afar – everyone. Look at them as if they are an iceberg. Look at them with the absolute assurance that what I see is so little compared to what really makes up this person.

And then…be Curious. Take the time to stop thinking about myself and my well-intentioned or, more often, ill-conceived standards that I use to calculate the person’s near miss, or total miss. Instead, throw out the measureing stick. Toss the self-imposed standards.  Take the time to be curious about who that person is. What lies below the surface. The hurts, the successes, the fears, the worries, the joy, the sadness. What lies under the surface that supports what you see. Maybe that curiousity will lead to conversation; maybe only to a prayer extended on that person’s behalf.

For instance…

Why not pray that the woman who is painstakingly counting out the change from the bottom of her purse to pay for her coffee will not feel my irritation, but feel the presence of God at some time that day.

Why not ask the man at work who is constantly backstabbing your efforts,  ask how the holidays were for him, what Santa brought him, what he did with his time off.

Change your mind from judging on sight, to seeking what’s real. Being curious about what lies below the surface. To the part of the person that God knows so well, and that we rarely take the time to uncover.

See everyone as an iceberg - and be curious about what lies below the surface.

Seems easy enough, right? I’ll let you know on February 1st what I found out – about others and myself.  I challenge you to do the same!!


A Woman’s Nation

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The very words piqued my interest in late September. When this news special was announced on The Today Show, I was eager to listen to what Maria Schriver had to say. Reading Maria’s article at www.awomansnation.com shed some light on why she chose to do this study on women and how women are changing the landscape of the United States.

Maria’s mother was her role model – a woman who wore pants when women didn’t, she smoked cigars and worked outside the home. She says her mother raised her exactly like her brothers to believe she could do anything saying, “Maria, this may be a man’s world, but you can and will succeed in it.”

Out of her upbringing and more recently as the first lady of the state of California, Maria’s Women’s Conference was born. Her goal was to create a meeting place where women from all walks of life could come together and share experiences, information and motivate one another. When the 2008 conference sold out in 2 hours she knew something big was happening. Every workshop was packed with women wanting more. What did she learn? She learned that women are hungry for what’s missing in their lives – a place to connect! They feel isolated, invisible, stressed and misunderstood.

I’m certain the Women’s Conference is amazing, what it offers, its size, its celebrity. The lineup of speakers and workshop facilitators is unbelievable. I’m thrilled there’s a movement like this out there. Heck, I want to go! It’s about time women and men unite to bring attention to the inequalities that have existed for way too long, and further they’re working hard to do something about them.

Diane and I have dreamed, prayed, discussed and labored over the last few years hoping to create a Christian women’s movement like Maria’s through CLEAR. What’s different about what we’re doing is that it’s based on women having a relationship with God first and from that becoming deeply connected to one another, sharing burdens, influencing others, finding their voices and making significant contributions in their homes, churches, jobs and communities.

Women, we have the best advocate for equality and change that ever lived! We have Jesus. He came to breakdown all the barriers created from the fall of humanity and to give us what we need to bring about world change. The bottom line is that all the great speakers, workshops and money in the world don’t make a difference if they’re not based on helping women develop and grow in a relationship with Jesus. Why? Why, because there’s no eternal significance without him.

Imagine what we could do if we became razor focused on following Christ the way he asked us to and by uniting in a movement that would develop, encourage, empower and challenge women to make the world what God wants it to be!

Conversations

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This group is for women who want to talk, question and explore Christianity, the Bible, church life, prayer and whatever else they might be mulling over in their minds! Women of all spiritual backgrounds are invited to participate. There’s no set curriculum, there’s nothing that’s off limits, there’s only open, honest and interesting discussion.

Terri Stone and Diane Karchner lead this group that meets the 3rd Saturday of every month, at 9:00 AM, in classroom #1 in CCV’s children’s building. Join us this Saturday, November 21st!

Don’t Take It Personally

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It’s hard for me to not take “it” personally, especially when “it” comes to my work. My entire life I’ve loved working. My love for my work started with a few lucrative babysitting jobs, Orange Julius all through high school, managing a real estate office, corporate sales and marketing a few years later and today as the Director of Involvement at Christ’s Church of the Valley. No matter the position, I’m passionate about serving people, building relationships with co-workers and improving the environment in the workplace through my contributions.

The last few weeks I’ve heard a lot of criticism and complaints about areas I lead at the church. What’s worse is I didn’t hear the feedback directly. Boy, was I defensive, confused, hurt, jealous, angry. I kept thinking over and over, “Why didn’t these people come and tell me? They know me. They know how much I want things to be better.”

All week, my facebook posts reflected my reactions to this feedback. All the character flaws I constantly work on, rooted their ugly little heads – jealousy, anger, judgment.

If it weren’t for two good friends, I’d probably still be wallowing in it all. Today’s a better day; God was gracious enough to give me the time I needed to put everything in proper perspective. I realized I don’t have any control over people’s perceptions and the fact that they shared with others instead of sharing with me.

One friend reminded me that my dependence and focus on Jesus are what have kept me grounded in times like these. What’s most important is following him, serving him and others and letting him do the work through me. People are people, me included. We are works in progress. The only things I have control over are the things I say and do and how I exemplify Jesus to others. These are the things I should take personally!

What if…?

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from Diane’s desk…

On my way home today, I was lamenting my body. As usual. Too big, too fat, too bumpy, too lumpy – you know the drill! And this thought popped into my head – what if I can never lose a pound? What if my bumpy thighs and thick, muffintop waistline, are mine forever. I own them. What if all of this is mine.

What if all of your body image challenges – your height, your ‘cankles’, your weight, your skin color, your nose, your eyelashes, your toes – will never change (and in most cases, they won’t!).

It will never change.

Think about that for a moment. It’s a sobering thought.

For any of you who avoid mirrors, or hide behind clothes too big for your body, or hate the exposure of summer clothes. For any of you who hide from life to hide your body. This post is for you! (For the rest of you, keep up the great self-image!! Awesome!!)

But this ‘What if…?’ epiphany changed something in me.

When I got home, I went into the bathroom and took a look at my body. I took off my clothes and stood in front of the mirror. For awhile. And I cried. I cried because it had been a really long time since I had done that. A really long time.

And I cried because I realized that God had given me every single inch of my large frame. Every bump and jiggle – God loves every inch. Every muffin top – God loves every one.

I know that a healthy body is a thinner one. I know that. (So all your health nuts, don’t panic!!) But to get there, I think I had to arrive here first. To love what is staring back at me in the mirror. To touch it all. And to love it all, just like God does. To know that no matter what – even when we gain weight, lose hair, get a zit – God loves it. All of it. All of it. All of it!!!!

What if…? What if you loved every inch of yourself the way God loves?

Love is patient, kind. Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.  I Cor. 13

Does this describe how you love yourself? Is this how you think about yourself when you look in the mirror?

It’s what God is thinking when he looks at us. It’s how God loves.

What if…?

Weary and Burdened

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“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:28-20

This is one of my favorite passages from the Bible. Many years of my life were spent feeling weary and burdened that was until I began following Jesus and believing in what these words mean.

I told a couple of people last week that I was weary, tired and running on empty. As much as I love ministry, I sometimes find myself frustrated, disappointed, irritated and wondering why it has to be so hard.

Ministry’s hard because it’s all about people. We’re complicated, set in our ways, wounded, arrogant, doubtful, side-tracked and unmotivated. What I do becomes difficult because I’m one of those people who sees everything in black and white, right or wrong, which leaves me perplexed at times. I also happen to be a highly-driven perfectionist who will work non-stop to get it all done and get it done right! These traits, unfortunately, give me a narrow viewpoint when I’m under a great deal of stress.

How I’m “wired up” leads to being weary and burdened, but only when I keep Jesus at arm’s length. I end up experiencing weariness when I lose sight of the fact that God is using me to do his work, not mine! It’s so easy to forget that God’s in control, not me.

These times of unrest always pass thanks to the help of friends in ministry and out reminding me that Jesus is there every step of the way guiding, supporting and reaching to me. I just have to remember to reach back and find in him what I need.